radio deejays are always like, I'm gonna play this, but before that I'm gonna play this, and before THAT I'm gonna play this, but first this

want rick ross to breast feed me

An unrequited friendship seems sadder than an unrequited love.

"Taipei" is Tao Lin's version of "Dylan going electric" and will leave his imitators with no choice but to finally learn how to write.

Submissions are open for the next issue of the Tyrant. If you can RT this, cool. If not, also cool, just not AS cool. http://t.co/idiBUR4b

For sale. Baby Jordans. Never worn.

do what you love and you'll never hate working, because you won't be working, because you won't have a job

I hate how 'social anxiety' has become an excuse for behaving like a retard-asshole.

Rhyme is a great vehicle for complete bullshit.

I should have gotten an MFA in calling my dealer and telling him to hurry the fuck up

weird ocd shit when i was little i'd say goodnight to my dog hundreds of times until my tone was 100% loving in case she died in her sleep

Typed "Xanax costume" into Google images and this came up. Nailed it, Google. http://t.co/LDb7ufyU

saw the flashing "do not walk hand" at crosswalk last might as giving me continuous high-fives, urging me to walk into the traffic

Juliet Capulet is a terrible name.

Had a long discussion w/ @tao_lin about his new novel "Taipei" and @vice published it because they're smart.  http://www.vice.com/read/tao-lin-talks-to-tyrant-re-taipei …

the blue of your facebook page darkening, blackening as you age

not writing a novel is the new writing a novel

Making a joke about a fedora is the new wearing a fedora.

I will never get sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

spending your entire life arguing against the existence of God seems similar to dedicating your life to God