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  • oati
      oati @oati

    Sad vuvuzela.

    • 23
    • FAVS
    DumbassadortysoncrosbieHoityPolloitorrezStormyCruzteribitsrepstosjamiemichelle
  • oati
      oati @oati

    E.T. didn't inspire Neil Diamond's "Heartlight." It was a tequila and burrito binge with Burt Bacharach. Original title: "Fartlight." #lmsa

    • 18
    • FAVS
    DumbassadorglobetrottgirlberimbauonefleshcakeCalamityNowFriedaClubhurtlingnolagrrlnyc
  • oati
      oati @oati

    They should call it "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me 'Cause I Already Heard That Joke on Twitter Three Days Ago."

    • 16
    • FAVS
    DumbassadorglobetrottgirlberimbauoneHeadFullofRocks__beingtheo________BettyLiesmysticsavageAdInsanitum
  • oati
      oati @oati

    I am so gay for civil rights.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    GirlDetectivebillygoatapricotica________gretchenlarsenOneSmallFirenegatendocrabapplezjoe_schmitt
  • oati
      oati @oati

    We're here in Arkansas, cradle of Walmartization, observing the People thereof in their original habi...Shhh...here's one now. Magnificent.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    robkroesehurtlingDumbassadormlnih____________rsmallbonebeingtheo________mysticsavagejaymcgavren
  • oati
      oati @oati

    Don't you hate it when you're almost out of wine and you have to tongue the box?

    • 12
    • FAVS
    Dumbassadorrsmallbonebeingtheo________lionelstermysticsavageAZVernPunkRockieladawn
  • oati
      oati @oati

    Does this minivan make my uterus look big?

    • 9
    • FAVS
    DumbassadorrsmallboneHeadFullofRocks__beingtheo________kambrock__________highvoltagerachhg47_toddjohnson
  • oati
      oati @oati

    Welcome to community college. The only difference you'll notice from high school is the ash trays. That and the stench of broken dreams.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    Dumbassadorbeingtheo________mysticsavagekambrock__________highvoltagerachMrBigFistshoosiergirlcrustyjuggler72__
  • oati
      oati @oati

    If I could harness the power of these uterine cramps, the US could achieve energy independence. I should contain the spillage first, though.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    DumbassadorKingWithACrowntysoncrosbieanjeanettecglobetrottgirlberimbauonemagashi1121kellydeal
  • oati
      oati @oati

    Doughnuts? No need for all that. I'll just slather this lard directly on my thighs, thanks.

    Are you using that spatula?

    • 8
    • FAVS
    Dumbassadorberimbauoneblondediva11rsmallbonekellydealmagashi1121dresspantsladawn
  • oati
      oati @oati

    The adverb makes it funny. Apparently.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    hurtlingPoliteslapDumbassadorKingWithACrownberimbauonejose602ladawnapricotica________
  • oati
      oati @oati

    Indian cowboy, sexy clown, patriotic fear. Rodeos are complex.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    Dumbassadortysoncrosbieberimbauoneladawndresspantsmallbangs______ChiNursejose602
  • oati
      oati @oati

    Ten out of ten mosquitoes agree: I am a tasty white girl.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    Dumbassadortysoncrosbienannanannanannajose602ladawndetweilerdresspants
  • oati
      oati @oati

    Neighbor child's shouting, "Coochie's loose! Bad Coochie! Get inside, Coochie!" Giant vag attack or dog name fail? Either way, time to move.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    Dumbassadorkambrock__________highvoltagerachruthakersMrBigFistsladawn_toddjohnson
  • oati
      oati @oati

    WHO ATE ALL THE SLEEP?

    • 5
    • FAVS
    tysoncrosbiekellydeallowrentkickerHelladanforthfrance
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    PIOGreg
  • oati
      oati @oati

    It's not the heat; it's the inhumanity.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    encore_bruleenegatendoninkykellydealAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    spookyparticles
  • oati
      oati @oati

    Hi, neighbor! You're pretty generous with that cat food. So, what do you call a bunch of feral cats? A herd? A nest? A public health hazard?

    • 6
    • FAVS
    Dumbassadormagashi1121detweilerkellydealdresspantstysoncrosbie
  • oati
      oati @oati

    I almost just got into a fight with a girl over a bar stool. Then she threw up. So...



    She wins.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    Dumbassadorbeingtheo________mysticsavagepiratechris____PunkRockiejose602
  • oati
      oati @oati

    Tips for Drunk Girls #007: It may be "Sexy Cinderella" to you, but everyone knows that costume's really called "Stumblin' Attention Whore."

    • 6
    • FAVS
    Dumbassadormysticsavagekambrock__________snackajawea________toddjohnsonapricotica________
  • oati
      oati @oati

    At Trader Joe's, a sad midlife epiphany: My superpower's catty passive aggression. My costume's good bone structure and no makeup. Me.

    Ow.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    DumbassadormysticsavagehighvoltagerachMrBigFistssnackajawea_______apricotica________
@oati

@oati

Glamour Mule