@offdutygnome's (Steve Blackard) most faved Tweets...
My son came home from daycare with glitter on his face... Not sure what he does all day, but apparently I need to send him with singles.
After 3 hours of attempting to install a baby gate at the top of our stairs, I decided to go with a slide and some pillows at the bottom!!!
Twitter blocked at work. Sending tweets through a secret widget they don’t know about! Must be what the newspapers feel like in North Korea!
Just as I predicted... Gillette dropped Tiger Woods once his mistresses outnumbered the blades on their latest razors.
Wait a minute! So, Beatles Rockband DOESN'T come with an annoying Asian woman to create tension between you and your friends?
The Amish are going green… I just saw a buggy being pulled by a miniature pony! I believe that’s the Smart Car™ of the Amish community.
Anyone ever notice that A-Rod spelled backwards is Dora? I wonder what he has in HIS backpack?
...Steriods. That's right! YAY!
...Steriods. That's right! YAY!
Why do so many overweight men and women pull their pants up to their chests? Are front-butts considered status symbols at Walmart?
I now have 300 followers… the next person who walks up to my cubicle will get a size 12 to the chest and a spirited, “THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAA!”
Groan... next Monday morning is the worst ever.
I need coffee!
Is it next Friday yet?
What?
Too soon?
I need coffee!
Is it next Friday yet?
What?
Too soon?
Twitter down this morning. Productivity at an all time high! Must‘ve been part of the Stimulus package. Well played Mr. Obama… well played.
I noticed that my 1 y/o turns his sippy-cup upside down after a few drinks. My wife says that he's just pouring some out for his homies.
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