@offdutygnome's (Steve Blackard) recent favourites. See who @offdutygnome favs the most...
Hey sports fans, here's my NCAA pick: bet it all on the Savannah College of Art & Design. Go Fighting Acrylics!
I just saw a 300 pound grown-ass man riding a child's bike.
I wanted someone to laugh with me so badly, but you all live in the computer.
I wanted someone to laugh with me so badly, but you all live in the computer.
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can see this, thank Al Gore.
If you can hear this, thank the LSD.
If you can see this, thank Al Gore.
If you can hear this, thank the LSD.
I think it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder because I skipped school a lot and I loved it.
My son lost his very first tooth tonight- but he's so hardcore he just swallowed it.
So... Yeah.
Fuck the fairy.
So... Yeah.
Fuck the fairy.
Me: "I need to back your computer up." Karen: "She's a big, fine compu-ter, won't you back her ass up?!" Me: "..."
I bet when the Canadian mafia gets angry at someone, they tie a bunch of balloons to their ankles and tell them to "nap with the birdies."
This town is full of progressive men that won't take advantage of me. If I have to endure their morals, they should at least get me stoned.
Recently discovered this thing called "Excedrin PM". It's sort of like a personal time machine. But it only goes forward.
Every time my boyfriend says, "You're right" instead of "I don't want to fight," we get one step closer to making world peace a reality.
When I was little, I thought "astral" was your ass's nostril.
Don't act like that shit wouldn't have made perfect sense when you were ten.
Don't act like that shit wouldn't have made perfect sense when you were ten.
22" rims and bottles of champagne are great and all, but why aren't there any rap songs about having a mortgage and paying for daycare?
Me: "I think you underestimate my crankiness."
Husband: "Are we talking hazmat suit?"
Me: "Worse."
Husband: "Hurt Locker?"
Me: "Yes."
Husband: "Are we talking hazmat suit?"
Me: "Worse."
Husband: "Hurt Locker?"
Me: "Yes."
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