@qu4rtkn33 I'm pretty sure you just sealed the fact that I'm gay.

Ruby is amazing because he loves all the music I love. That, or one-year-olds will dance to anything...

@qu4rtkn33 Your mustache could be bushier...oh, and you're a cunt.

@foxtrotzed @diffidentastic Hell, welcome to being a thin, cool, gay guy. No one likes pants!

@untresor I was trying to do that to the rhythm of "Shots". Difficult, but worth it.

@omgfacts Sometimes the explanations of your facts seem like OMGOpinions. Sort of like FOX News for facts...

I'm pissed at 3rd graders everywhere because you KNOW Apple will never make an iCup now.

@diffidentastic ...Sex with you sounds scary...

IKEA is leaving quite a bit to be desired. #gayboyproblem

@diffidentastic I'll be honest, it's fun to ejaculate on just about anything...

"P.S. I'm not sure having a dykey lesbian pick out your outfit is the smartest thing you've ever done." -@maramazing_'s HeyTell to me.

"Okay, Michael...good night...you need to work on your personal space..." -my ten year old sister. Hahaha.

I enjoy reading about the amount of naked time @diffidentastic has in a day. Thank God for Twitter.

I'm thinking of adding 'winking' to my interests on Facebook. Or "putting on bracelets"...

@ixseanxi It's on! I'll fill mine with milk!

@sasshole724 @jennimarie7 @j__swagg @juanaontheblock PLL gives you an orgasm? Weeeiiiirrrrrrd. HLL (Hung Little Liars) does it for me.

@jennimarie7 @j__swagg @juanaontheblock @sasshole724 "Let's soak it up" puts a bad image in my head. Vaginas = sponges.

@jarrettcampbell I always thought Bruce Jenner was the mom. She looks like a Bruce.

I was a terrible politician. *george w. bush voice*
Did I do it right?!
I'm so urban.

Dear #JCP, we both know the plans for Christmas. Urban gay couples with no kids. Do it. #OneMillionMoms will still shop there.