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Ruby is amazing because he loves all the music I love. That, or one-year-olds will dance to anything...
"Okay, Michael...good night...you need to work on your personal space..." -my ten year old sister. Hahaha.
I was a terrible politician. *george w. bush voice*
Did I do it right?!
I'm so urban.
Dear #JCP, we both know the plans for Christmas. Urban gay couples with no kids. Do it. #OneMillionMoms will still shop there.
Can't we just agree that everyone is a little slutty?
"Am I on speaker? Are you that important?" -My boss, because she needed me to call her while I was getting ready. #fb
I spend a lot of time being internally smug.
"They don't have Harry Potter? What the hell? Why have even have it?" - My dad regarding Netflix.