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Are there any artists with a calligraphy bent who would be the slightest bit interested in a family tree commission with a creative twist?
Ticket inspector explains that several tourists arrived in Margate at midnight having been told in London to change at Moorgate.
Arab Spring? Ed Balls? No. This is still my favourite moment on Twitter, ever: http://storify.com/JaneyGodley/the-full-story-and-conclusion-of-tim-and-freya-tra … from @janeygodley. Too much.
No snow in Guildford. The hormones pumping out of Abercrombie and Jack Wills as well as hundreds of Chelsea Tractors means it melts 400m up.
I once had a week of parties at the Ma's and to hide the fag burns I trimmed the edge of the carpet and glued the fluff in the holes.
A barista just told me to quit smoking so I flashed her my 2007 South East England Barista of the Year badge and stared her down.
Do you think the child actor from Willy Wonka approaches women in bars and mutters: "I'm Augustus Gloop, wanna hook up?" I hope so.
The look of confusion in the intern’s eyes when no-one is leaving at 6pm in the ad agency. “Is it okay to go?”
YES, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.
Something terrifying about being in a room of guffawing advertisers about how we are all selling bullshit.
Writes social media for a living. Studied books. Likes short sentences, the Internet and you.