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Got to work and realized I was wearing both shirts backwards. Thank god tomorrow is Friday.
Ever see a pretty girl and when you get closer she's a dude? Yeah me neither.
I finally get why dudes live like they do: cuz a George Foreman grills the fuck outta anything, and laundry on the floor is still laundry.
Karma IS a bitch and it WILL come back to fuck you.
Finger. Tattoos. Suck. Balls.
Texting about a herniated disk and all my phone wants to talk about is herniated dick.
... And it all changes in the blink of an eye
I want a hand tattoo sooooo bad. Oh wait. I get one next week ❤
Tried to sneak in late to work today. I was one floor from safety when the elevator door opened and in walked my boss #shouldatakenthestairs
I hate when my boss is all up on my nuts.
OH MY GOD WE HAVE CORNDOGS
Out in the streets, they call it muuuuuurder
Just not feeling it.
Lol this girl's getting a tattoo and her artist just told her to sack up or shut the fuck up. Hahaha...