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You don't need to put an obama sticker on a prius. We get it.
Maybe if i wore one of those service dog vests people wouldnt be allowed to talk to or touch me either
cuz your friends don't butts and if they don't butts then they're no butts of mine
We are in an age in which i worry that my favoriting a tweet will be misconstrued as flirting
I'm wearing 2 shades of grey to bed tonight. Just 48 more till i get a boyfriend
Half my family is watching a show about killing wild hogs, the other half is watching spongebob. This says so much.
sext: you know nothing jon snow
I'm Full But I'm Not Done Eating - the musical
When two people love each other very much they play mind games until they eventually hate each other and drift apart
I wish people wouldn't think feminism is a bad word
If she's wearing slippers, she's a prostitute. If there's a cat next to her, prostitute. If there's a monkey, prostitute. #artisweird
Sext: i just shaved for the first time since shorts weather began
I want to see adam and eve's marriage license
I love when teacher's write on my papers "seems like you were stretching to meet the page minimum". Um....yeah. That's cuz i was.
i need to try a doritos locos taco before i die. but i'm afraid it might be the thing that kills me
where do i pick up my complimentary ugg boots
i think my twitter is a lot deeper than people give it credit for