You don't need to put an obama sticker on a prius. We get it.

Maybe if i wore one of those service dog vests people wouldnt be allowed to talk to or touch me either

.@gameofthrones @arresteddev pic.twitter.com/koR5Otpmfw

cuz your friends don't butts and if they don't butts then they're no butts of mine

We are in an age in which i worry that my favoriting a tweet will be misconstrued as flirting

I'm wearing 2 shades of grey to bed tonight. Just 48 more till i get a boyfriend

Half my family is watching a show about killing wild hogs, the other half is watching spongebob. This says so much.

sext: you know nothing jon snow

I'm Full But I'm Not Done Eating - the musical

When two people love each other very much they play mind games until they eventually hate each other and drift apart

I wish people wouldn't think feminism is a bad word

I know the movie theater doesn't allow outside candy, but how do they feel about second breakfast? #thehobbit

If she's wearing slippers, she's a prostitute. If there's a cat next to her, prostitute. If there's a monkey, prostitute. #artisweird

I heard that drinking stops being fun and starts being sad after tonight, so I'm gonna yolo it up #ICgrads

Sext: i just shaved for the first time since shorts weather began

I want to see adam and eve's marriage license

I love when teacher's write on my papers "seems like you were stretching to meet the page minimum". Um....yeah. That's cuz i was.

i need to try a doritos locos taco before i die. but i'm afraid it might be the thing that kills me

where do i pick up my complimentary ugg boots

i think my twitter is a lot deeper than people give it credit for