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We are our words here.
When you steal tweets from others, what is it that you fear we would read, if the words were your own? Xxx
Back to work, like a chump.
Tell her you had a dream about her.
Use a winky face emoticon.
Bask in all the cyber pussy.
Does this boyfriend make me look happily married?
Your twitter boyfriend’s real life girlfriend told my twitter boyfriend that she is totally ok with you two cyber fucking.
"Moderation" should be a bad word
Don't be a sassy bitch.
Men like it when you stroke their ego, and by ego I mean cock, and by stroke I mean suck.
Its really fucked up that we don't get a 10 second preview of each destination when we are faced with a set of choices
I guess people who quit Twitter are doing stuff.
You have a beard? That's funny because I'm not wearing panties.
I want a bad ass name like Lollipop Chainsaw.
All I want is a man tied up in my bedroom. Is that asking too much? It can be willingly or unwillingly, I don't care.
My super power is negotiating anal like a goddamn hostage situation.
Related: I just got a new purse!
Love is when you meet someone so amazing you can't remember what you ever saw in anyone else.
There are millions of assholes in the world. But it only takes one person to make you smile.
If only awesome ideas came as often as I do...
I have a favourite ex-girlfriend. Just in case you needed a gauge for dysfunctionality...
Follow me now so you can say you knew me when...seriously, what are you waiting for? Click click people. Time's a wastin'! #NSFW