If anyone sees decidedly happy people dressed in black woohooing & cheering, don't worry,the new Depeche Mode single leaked &nerdage is high

Michael Jackson taught Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin to moon walk. #FactsWithoutWikipedia

The last bestial wedding I went to was terrible. The caterers ran out of kibble & groom was so nervous he kept lifting his leg on the altar.

The new Depeche Mode album Delta Machine, is like listening to the roughest sex you've ever had. It hurts so good. #DepecheMode

After Peta Credlin teaches Tony Abbott what to say the following day, does she have 2 put a towel over his cage so he gets shut-eye.

Utter fucking claptrap from @theage You want readers? Then stop publishing shit. Not even fit for budgie cage. http://t.co/x3VRSvMK

Olay’s Total Effects doesn’t fight the 7 signs of ageing. I’m still grumpy, cantankerous, surly, tired, wrinkled, right and old.

BREAKING: Alan Jones is a dim witted turd. Actually, that’s it breaking news, it’s a truism.

Hey @tonyabbottmhr What difference when a 1st term Lib premier is forced 2 resign & when a 1st term PM does same? #ThereGoesYourArgument

This episode of Insiders should be called "In defense of the indefensible: Or why Tone's a good bloke." #insiders

.@tonyabbottmhr You pathetic pig of a man. I'm dying of shame thinking you could be prime minister.

Today Tonight and A Current Affair are to journalism as cretinism is to the Nobel Prize.

I am accepting applications 4 a husband. Men with both a pool & air conditioner, are given priority & guaranteed a leg over on application.

I wonder if I should put the bins out before the apocalypse?

Oh my, the lunatics from the Westboro Baptist Church plan to picket the funerals of the children murdered yesterday. This is beyond belief.

Alan Jones talking about racism on Sunrise is like Colonel Sanders giving a lecture on animal rights.

As hate is a big, nasty word, I now state I am "radically indifferent to Christmas."

We are Depeche Mode and you will be modified by our Delta Machine. #Pearler #Amazeballs #DepecheMode

Annie get your AK47. #BadIdeaMusicals

This new government under Joh is doing a great job. #bnelateagain