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Beautiful day. No bombs. No war. Got food. Got car. Got family. Home intact. Ok. So far no complaints.
The universe is not about you. It was here before you. It owes you nothing.
Me+Diego=trouble & strife (literally, not Cockney). Wrong. The correct answer is 'wishful thinking'.
I'm the snooty one who doesn't go to a concert unless I've listened to the entire album. I'm also possibly the only one who says 'album'.
Two o'clock beauty queen.
The gregarious horse that gallops but accepts treats from many, and the rabid hyena who tells all of its self-perceived majesty. #character
The best part of being a grown-up is figuring things out and not having to deal with hastily-grabbed tissues and wet spots.
I have nothing against freedom of speech. I just wonder if some insensitive coldhearted assholes who treat death lightly, deserve to use it.
Remembering a long-forgotten article mentioning Band Aid's Geldof taping a note 'Please leave your ego at the door' prior to the recording.
Tonsil tickler? As if it could reach that far.
Purple headed soldiers chasing one ball.
'An abbreviated piece of nothing'. So much better than 'female dog', because there's more than three syllables involved.
Of course, after surviving a shooting, I am very much in the mood to give a media interview. Breaking boundaries of insensitivity, news ass.
The proctologist called. Said the piece of coal he put in your arse last week should be a diamond by now, 'cos, you know, you are that anal.
Aberzombie & Bitch.
Dear superheroes, pls predict how much food we're NOT going to finish, make it fresh and send it to Somalia till the weather plays nice.
The glaring gulf between "accountable" and "responsible" has never been more clear. Bosszillas, learn.
Dear Tweedledee, I finally found your funnier half, Tweeter Dumb. Love, Queen of Harsh.
I'm trying 2 digest your polysyllabic assertions that U are, indeed, a brilliant lawyer, but the avi of your ass in knickers won't let me.
No, I do not consider myself too cool to moonwalk, cha cha or do the hustle whilst sober.