Thought of the day: Big people should not wear all red.

On another note, I have to remember to buy some Kool-Aid.

@kinseyss @skullcat much appreciated! Canadians are awesome. Mostly because I like being on bottom.

Well fuck, you people have succeeded in peer pressuring me into celebrating national cleavage day. http://t.co/lkFoi0UV

#FF @midgetspar @skullcat @cm2btthd because I've never laughed so hard in my life this week & I'm considering that part of my ab workout. :)

Windows open, Sittin n my underwear & a tank top listening 2the thunder

Then I realize I'm sitting in my underwear with the windows open.

A few more followers today! Including @skullcat. I may break 20 by the weekend. #EhhNotWinning.

@midgetspar I like to drink beer and pet my cat too *wink wink nudge nudge*

Im not using any punctuation in this tweet because it is going to drive @midgetspar crazy exclamation point he is just going to have to deal

@cm2btthd @midgetspar @skullcat they came back.... Straight shot right in the "penalty box" it's good! Pun intended!

@skullcat @cm2btthd not to butt in on your twit-convo, but I think it would b awesome to hear a play by play of my next sexual encounter. :)

I think I'm gonna invent a shower head that has a "bendy-straw type" hose so my arms don't get tired. And yes, that's an industry term.

@midgetspar still.... I'd like someone to "for unlawful carnal knowledge" me once in a while.

Late night realizations: dating is a legal form of prostitution.

@peaceintruth1 @skullcat the same reason why power door locks sound much louder in bad neighborhoods.

@midgetspar I wonder how much of an awesome superhero I could be. I always roll into the wet spot.

@midgetspar I'll be your true friend, between the hours of 9am and 111pm as long as it doesn't conflict with anything else I'm doing.

Anyone wanna get married for some free presents???

I need a KitchenAid mixer and a Keurig coffee maker.

I think it would be a hoot to dirty talk into a t-pain voice altering microphone during sex.

Also, I need to get laid. & I need ice cream

@skullcat Well that solves it! I need to be drunk more!

@cm2btthd @skullcat hahhahahaha. "Ohhhhh and there's the money shot!!!!!!!" Gooooaaaaaaaalllll!