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A tiny elephant would fix everything.
Hey I just met you / and this is crazy / but you are absolutely covered in ants
An Easter egg hunt, but with puppies. You find the puppies. (they were hidden)
Villains always have the better accents.
How does one function in society? I have no specific job or life skills, just knowledge and imagination. How do I turn that into money? :/
A baby said "yum" when I fed it an orange today.
I like that Taco Bell is just advertising their new Dorito shell as "inevitable."
Keep your fork there's pie
On a positive note, I'm currently pursuing a masters in teaching and will be influencing future generations. Hope your kids like nihilism.
I hit a one-year-old in the face with a beach ball and she just laughed and laughed. Every person should react that way always.
I want to be in fourth place at something.