If I show y'all my veiny milkbags & busted beaverhole, will you buy me some stuff off my Amazon wish list? That's how Twitter works, right?

Sext: The condom slips off and we can't find it. I freak out and cry. You root around in my clamhole with pliers and dislocate my cervix.

I just sneezed between my tits. Quick, jam your dick in there!

All porn should be filmed in a walmart dressing room.

When life's got you down, take all your Xanax. All your damn Xanax. Wash that shit down with Vodka. Eat a cake. Fuck it. Fuck you.

If you can't say something nice, put your tongue in my asshole.

I'm so fucking lonely that I killed a drifter and masturbate with his severed dong every night after lubricating it with my tears. :(

I love y'all so much I just want to hack you to fucking pieces, throw you in a blender, and siphon you into my cunt so I can birth you.

If you care about someone, be sure to keep them on their toes by making them feel worthless on a regular basis.

#MajorTurnoffWhen I'm like "Last night was great" then I roll over and he's layin' there all dead w/ his severed penis in his mouth! SMH LOL

Hey, fuckface, let's make the kind of sex where it sounds like someone stirring a big pot of spaghetti. #mypickuplines

A thread of mucus dangles from my quivering labia like drool from the mouth of a retard anticipating his next spoonful of tapioca. #Erotica

I'm eating mango yogurt and the bland meaty chunks are exactly how I'd imagine human flesh would taste/feel. Needless to say, I'm aroused.

Next time I get married, I'm not going to.

I wouldn't be embarrassed to tell y'all I have a broken leg or diabetes. I'm not ashamed that I have a mental illness. I'm still me.

I took a shit in a leather glove once. I've never felt so continental.

@jainesays flaccid beef curtains are so droopy, her cats thought she had mice dangling out of her panties.

If it's stinky, dip your pinky; if it festers, no molesters.

My pussy looks like a magician gave up in disgust halfway through the scarves-up-the-sleeve trick.

Sometimes I don't see my mentions. If I don't respond, that's why. I'm not a cunt in real life, just on the internet and in real life.