this guy kinda smells like a porn store. and i kinda like it.

This scene is a shark tank. Stay out of the water if you're wounded.

It's all for show. It's all their little stage.

One day, the nonsmokers will rise in warfare against the smokers. And this battle shall be won.

STEAM LANTERN might be the best episode EVER MADE. Even an Alan Scott mention! #GreenLanternTheAnimatedSeries #GetGlue  http://getglue.com/tv_shows/green_lantern_animated_series?s=t&ref=mihalytakacs …

Criss Angel is in the house. Making earrings disappear.

The last thing Id put in my mouth right now is a salmon croquette.

Negotiating Zimbabwe border crossings and the hallucinogenic effects of DEET over breakfast. #ZAdventure

Seven days until I fly 10,000 miles away on @delta @klm to South Africa for the birthday safari of a lifetime. This is getting REAL!

If anybody ever referred to us as "besties" on Facebook, Id probably delete them.

Unless you really are from Maine, knock it off with WICKED as an adverb. Because I've HAD it.

No, Ive never wanted to explore a dinosaurs colon, but thanks for the opportunity. #WIStateFair

Lets bring back THE GREAT GATSBY look long before Leonardo. #trendwatch

Dont get all SCATMAN CROTHERS on me, MAN.

You say "sordid mess" like it's a bad thing.

Its 2011. If you cant successfully navigate an ATM transaction in less than 5 minutes, you should be put out of your misery. #rage

"yogurt" does not have an "h" in it. so knock it off already.

I'm totally OWNING "Most socially awkward guy at a Tweetup" right now. No one better fuck this up for me.

OK FINE I ADMIT IT. I fell for @google Nose.

"Is somebody wearing Stetson?" - @klappenblast73