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Dear young people: cursing is awesome but easily overdone. Use it like a spice to accent. Nobody wants to eat a pound of cumin.
Clearly Mark Zuckerberg isn't married because only a single man would think there's a difference between "Married" and "It's Complicated."
I'm glad Bristol Palin could take a moment between unplanned pregnancies to lecture the world about morals.
I think all politicians should be required to wear NASCAR-style jackets and hats showing all of their corporate sponsors.
Sigh. I remember back when vampires were scary rather than mere vehicles for unimaginative writers and filmmakers.
Ever notice people who say they're against big govt are also pro-death penalty? Don't oversee my healthcare but go ahead and kill me. Irony.
The best and worst part about being self-employed and working at home is that all the workplace melodrama takes place in my head.
ROMNEY WINS! Because he is also an American citizen under president Obama.
Nothing can't be co-opted by capitalism. New soap out, Arab Spring. Makes you whistle a jaunty tune and then ululate.
I'm now treating the GOP debates like a i would a bear attack. I curl in a ball, play dead, and hope they'll go away.
This just in: Osama bin Laden dismayed to find that his 17 virgins are all male staffers for Nickelodeon.
I know I've hit middle age because 9 out of 10 pieces of clothing in my wardrobe contain a piece of wadded Kleenex.
Listening to two homeless, medicated ex-cons talk about life in Tent City on the bus. Sounds like a bureaucracy.
Home improvement tip: Do it right. Brush up on your cussing before beginning to work.
"The mouth of a perfectly contented man is filled with beer." --Egyptian proverb, c. 2200 BCE
Love phone salespeople. They always ask "How are you?" so I tell them, including how it all ties into my childhood. Cheaper than therapy.
I complete me. I follow back, until you annoy me with spam.
