@orneryred's (Shades of Red) most faved Tweets...
So I'm all bent over doing my hair.
Hubs walks by naked.
I thought sure why not a quick blowjob.
Not really the same with the blow dryer
Hubs walks by naked.
I thought sure why not a quick blowjob.
Not really the same with the blow dryer
It only took a quarter to get me on my knees today.
I'm sure it would have been much sexier had it not rolled under the soda machine.
I'm sure it would have been much sexier had it not rolled under the soda machine.
Hubs says I slept with my mouth open all night.
That explains the dryness, swelling, and..
..hey, what's that crusty stuff on my chin?
That explains the dryness, swelling, and..
..hey, what's that crusty stuff on my chin?
Woman in the next fitting room is literally short of breath.
If you have to work at it that hard, hon, it probably doesn't fit.
If you have to work at it that hard, hon, it probably doesn't fit.
So if we're all checking our phones at a red light, is there a head nod or hand signal so we know who's watching for the light to change?
I hope none of you are grossed out that I frequently read/write tweets while on the throne.
I also hope none of you are turned on.
I also hope none of you are turned on.
So we're watching Pink live concert.
She frightens me a little.
But intrigues me more *raises eyebrow*
And now hubs is *very* intrigued.
She frightens me a little.
But intrigues me more *raises eyebrow*
And now hubs is *very* intrigued.
I just walked thru a cloud of brut cologne so thick I can taste it. Thanks, building maint guy. 1985 called. Shelf life expired.
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