Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I think we should start following other people.
You can starfuck me.....I'm on the pill.
I gave you multiple orgasms last night. Don't make me tell you to leave multiple times in the morning.
Is drunk a good Halloween costume? That's what I'm going to be.
I love wearing headphones on the train, nobody can hear me farting.
If you give a baboon a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach him how to roll a joint, he's your smoke buddy for life!
Either the old lady next door is pounding on the wall because she needs help, or she's getting nailed. #imscared
I'm gonna skip the reunion too, just like the rest of high school.
Nancy Pelosi doesn't want to see the bin Laden photos. When you look at a dead man in the mirror every morning, what's the point?
I don't want to see Palin's e-mails. I want to see her tits.
Someone put lady blah blah on the jukebox. I had to walk outside before shooting/kicking someone in the dick.
If you can't make fun of yourself there's facebook.
I like my first dates like I like my boots. Easy to walk on and tied up tight.
#FF All of my followers. They all look great, smell great, and are probably watching porn at this very moment.
I've lost 6 followers today proving my assholiness!!! Adios fucktards!
I think it was that 3rd line of Fun Dip that really fucked me up.
If you mean looking at tramp stamps then yeah, I do enjoy art.
We need to end the war on drugs and start one with insects.
I'm in pain. I guess I'll smoke some medicine.
The dinosaurs thought global warming was real too. Look at what happened to them.