• Ahoy!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    I just had an epiphany. Unfortunately, it's 141 characters long.

    • 195
    • FAVS
    AngryBieberMistookMistakeklassy_kris______talkinboozeballTequilaTearsjkramblesMomfiatweetofclay
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    I celebrate 4:30 because it usually takes me ten minutes to find my lighter.

    • 107
    • FAVS
    TequilaTearsjkramblesmichaelnugentunanythingrage_bottamytoo2FlyoverJoelpdxmorgan
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    themouse1favstar1000favspuddysmomSleeveEyedonniAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    If I had a girlfriend she would be a brunette with a big butt. She would also be dead at the hands of my wife.

    • 106
    • FAVS
    TerinTalaricoTequilaTearsMomfiahugosg9LawyerbarbiePaulShakeySharpGeneralGreviousp3
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    2happyrightfavstar1000favsAvatar_unknown_48
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    Sometimes when my wife isn't looking, I sneak a peek into her purse.

    Just to say hi to my balls.

    • 92
    • FAVS
    TerinTalaricoTequilaTearsJaymes_MomsNiner11tweetofclayhulksoberMeatPantswcjuju____________
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    marriottajeffswarenssarcasticbitch0__wcjuju____________
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    I told the 3 year old that mommy is on her period. She put her bike helmet on and hid in the corner.

    • 67
    • FAVS
    TequilaTearsbontravoltatweetofclayp3boobillLezziekinsMissSexyGoddess__DeluxeIndian______
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    MattyO_83TammeyGirlMyManCardsBDGarpFavstar500FavsAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    Pro Tip: When picking up women, lift with your knees.

    • 68
    • FAVS
    bontravoltap3JoyPlazabeelzebud27kushyhomemakr____SacamanoBJohnThomas__twilighteyes08
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    I quit drinking because little girls learn what makes a good man from their daddy.

    • 63
    • FAVS
    donnitweetofclaybeelzebud27kushyhomemakr____kkilimniktwilighteyes08theJoeBizIAmAntilia________
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    When I finally stroke out, I want my wife to find a new dude by holding a "finish this tweet" contest for the one I was typing when I died.

    • 60
    • FAVS
    tweetofclayp3MmeLaCroozbeelzebud27kushyhomemakr____kkilimniktwilighteyes08theJoeBiz
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    I played cards with a chick once. She called my bluff and beat me with a pair, now we have a full house.

    • 59
    • FAVS
    lastsceptictweetofclayp3MmeLaCroozbeelzebud27kushyhomemakr____kkilimniktwilighteyes08
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    Every time I see a fresh box of tampons in my house, I dance a little jig.

    • 58
    • FAVS
    tweetofclayp3beelzebud27kushyhomemakr____abbeyhunterkkilimniktwilighteyes08theJoeBiz
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    A cheeseburger without bacon is like sex without love. Still pretty awesome.

    • 56
    • FAVS
    ElGarutip3doitforchrisfoodandwhininghilthensRaminHossainibeelzebud27kushyhomemakr____
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    Saw three 15 year old boys totally ignore a cute chick in a bikini today. These god damned 'smart' phones are gonna be the end of us all.

    • 55
    • FAVS
    tweetofclayp3doitforchrisbilnsof4lyfSnarkToastbeelzebud27kushyhomemakr____kkilimnik
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    lastsceptic
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    Giving up Twitter is like trying to walk away from a titty full of vodka.

    • 54
    • FAVS
    tweetofclayhulksoberp3doitforchrisCandyCrisisfoodandwhiningKAH4553beelzebud27
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Favstar500Favs
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    I could write a book on parenting, if I could get these kids to shut the fuck up.

    • 52
    • FAVS
    NonSequiTaurusSuMacDantweetofclayhulksoberMeatPantswcjuju____________FancyCookinMofop3
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsMeatPants
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    If Crayola were to name a crayon after me, I think they'd call it "Farmer's Tan".

    • 51
    • FAVS
    tweetofclayrMiLaNap3TwitchingDoubt____MeowNurseybeelzebud27kushyhomemakr____Harmzie
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Favstar500Favs
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    If Jesus had a Boston accent, Texans wouldn't like him so much.

    • 48
    • FAVS
    TequilaTearsbontravoltatweetofclayhulksoberwcjuju____________FancyCookinMofoabbeyhunterbeelzebud27
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    Fuck your wife like she's your girlfriend and she'll stop acting like your mother. #protip.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    TerinTalaricoIndianaJoe_samstrophywifeDeadDirtyCarneydesignersaysThe_PityGlitterStonedglobetrottgirl
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Auntsugerrage_botMissMarieJaybax9______________SRQ2U
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    I couldn't spank my kids if I wanted to. Just seems creepy after all the practicing I've done with their mother.

    • 47
    • FAVS
    TerinTalaricoTequilaTearstweetofclayhulksoberFancyCookinMofop3beelzebud27kushyhomemakr____
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    WTF? My "Women of Twitter" calendar arrived six months late.

    And it's full of dudes.

    • 45
    • FAVS
    tweetofclaywcjuju____________FancyCookinMofobeelzebud27kushyhomemakr____theJoeBizdietredbullJuarezAfterDark
  • p0rkch0pp
      Phil @p0rkch0pp

    Twitter is like a simile factory.

    • 43
    • FAVS
    tweetofclayhulksoberp3abbeyhunterbeelzebud27kushyhomemakr____dietredbullJuarezAfterDark
@p0rkch0pp

@p0rkch0pp

dad. husband. atheist. pothead. observer. cook.