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No I can't watch Kesha's show on MTV. You can't make me. Looking at her face gives me digestion problems.
It's a shame Miley Cyrus tried looking like Gwen Stefani but sadly ended up looking like Pink.
Can't wait to post pictures of these expensive-ass macaroons and then shove 'em up my dog's butt because they taste like garbage.
Can't wait for my next airplane ride. I'm gonna wash the shit outta my hair with some herbal essences. And it shall be orgasmic.
The best cheesesteak I've ever had was in the ghetto of Philly. When I walked away with my order, it disappeared.
I keep shit strict at my house. If I tell you to oink during foreplay, you bet'chur ass you're gonna oink. Now, pig!
Who just got to the gym? Me. Who forgot their earphones at home? Me. Who's not exercising today? Me :)
Yo girl who just stepped on my shoe in the movie theatre. My having a good day just saved your life.
Rob Kardashian eating raw hotdogs in a hottub with the family dog before Tyler Perry
I once wrote a letter to Kim Jong Il. He never wrote me back :(
