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girl:"youre fat"
me:"thats where I keep my pride"
girl:"youve got a lot of pride"
me:"you should see my penis"
#thingsithinkaboutbeforebed
Do you think sonic included the already added 23 flavors of Dr. Pepper in their 390,000 drink flavor combinations
@dbell333 you put a smile on my face when you do such nice things, rest assured I will be resting assured knowing you are a great person
I wish I was paid in pie, and that I could buy things with pie... but I couldn't wipe my ass with pie like I can money
I actually didn't feel it, I heard it, but I just thought it was someone walking around the house #firstworldproblems
The lady driving behind me is either doing her makeup or telling me to steal second base
I like my women hairy, this way I am certain they are mammals. That's one mistake I will never let happen again
What amount does one person have to order to surprise a server at a fast food restaurant
@foreheadnschnaz just saw this kid carrying ice packs under his pits, you might want to try that to control your horrible sweat problem
That awkward moment when @tioduro mentions you on twitter and it vibrates the phone near my inner thigh
Mattel's hoverboard keeps McFly planted on terra firma, away from water http://t.co/6fPv2vG8
I like to live one minute at a time... just like everyone else
Stats can't be shown as @packmwm has never signed in to Favstar.
