Dancing around my room Buffalo Bill style to a deep house remix of Doll Parts by Hole #fridaynightritual

@regisl Double Blind: there are millions out there that actually think they are posting tweets, but it's just a Placebo twitter.

@castinemachine Pink Lady?

Girl asks if the wifi is working.Says its vital that she has a connection.Just walked by and shes watching Montell Williams clips on YouTube

@nachosarah flying squirrels are exciting, but non-flying squirrels are good providers.

I created a new form of jogging: you wear a really dorky outfit, then run really fast down back roads so no one can get a good look at you.

My mind suddenly broke wide open when I realized not everyone in the world is into the same stupid bullshit that I'm into.

Alright, fuck it you guys, we're all friends here... I'm just gonna say it... New Morning is my absolute favorite Dylan album! I feel better

@petfurniture Makes me miss Oklahoma.

@nancyjew Their song about eating a bowl of cereal over the sink?( I guess they're all about that in a roundabout way)

I kinda want to get a pet, just so I can freak it out all the time. How much do those fainting goats cost?

@djrotaryrachel My dates usually end in Hall & Oats(I invite them over to eat oatmeal in my hallway)

@uncledynamite Every time I hear Deep Forest, I start lactating.

@llib_notwal You can't have anything blocking your groovy patriotic vibrations.

@curlycomedy As the Lord intended.

@mikeydelola My life feels like an Eddie Money album produced by Trent Reznor.... I think I need to figure some shit out...

@llib_notwal The Decemberists?

@astyrofoamkrump I think my dad has somehow hacked into your account?! Dad?

@deadlately I can usually only muster up the strength to just tuck in the front.

@vaguelyfunnydan Like a breakdancing human centipede.