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Can't believe my bagel pic has failed to gain notoriety at midnight:30 on a Tuesday across 3 different social media platforms.
Review of Graduation 2013
All performers wore the same gown. Half the time they were CLEARLY men. Worst drag show EVER, would not recommend
I just googled "blue period" and I'm getting a bunch of shit about Picasso instead of medical advice. #helpplease #isthereadoctorinthehouse
I bet Jesus would've let gay people eat at his restaurant--even on a Sunday. #chikfila
Probably my fav thing about myself is I'll never be anyone's uncle.
If I had a super power, I'd want it to be the ability to open and chug an entire bottle of wine before the CVS employees can kick me out.
Not saying I'm going to STRAIGHT UP MURDER our dogs, but I'd be under$$$$$tanding if $omeone el$e did... ;)
My mom has officially promised to get one teardrop tattoo on her face for every person she murders.
If I ever get famous, the only lyrics on my later albums will be: I'M RICH SUCK MY DICK! I'M RICH SUCK MY DICK. #fame
Walk into the club like / turn down the jams / what are memories made of / what is the chemistry of consciousness
Walk into the club like / im mentally ill / it's a real disease / please give me health care coverage
Right now it's 6:09 which made me laugh because it's two people trying to orally pleasure a love sac.
Valar morghulis, motherfuckers.
Instead of thinking about baseball, think about Nic Cage. You'll never have a boner again.
Goddammit. I've been STARVING for the past 30 minutes, and I haven't dropped a single pound. This is HORSESHIT