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I'm out of touch with today's youth, believe me, I want to be touching them.
What if I say, "This is FARTA!", but then I shit myself, what then?
I Shazamed a fart and Maroon 5's entire library came up.
Hey babes, it's called a landing strip, not a helicopter pad with a furry road to your asshole.
A pie cooling on a window sill is still the best place to meet other fat people.
"Hey there's a Fight Club over here!"- Dan hated rules.
If I see you put mustard on something, from then on I will refer to you as, "Johnny Mustard".
Who owns a gold Prius, parked at 1624 Schrader Blvd? Had to shit in it, it's alright I left a note with my info.
My dick looks like old Benicio Del Toro.
I know I'm getting Catfished by some fat queer, but I'm still hard as a rock everytime we "chat".
I'm 1000% positive Beyonce's baby is mine, I've been mailing her my semen for years, so, you do the math.
Aladdin 12: who Jafar-ted?
Irish people drink a lot because not catching leprechauns is frustrating as hell.
I can fart pretty much every Phil Collins song except, " Against All Odds", that one makes me shit.
Every time I've been robbed it's been by those filthy Spics....Ted and Frank Spic, couple of assholes.
I finally got that wierd nipple on the head of my cock pierced.
What's Angelina doing with her old, rotting titiies?
I woke up on the wrong side of the '92 Camry this morning.
the facial network