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"if you love your job, you never work a day in your life" - that is some fucking grade A bullshit right there
I AM MISS AMERICA - i watch a lot of garbage tv and eat take out and i'm wearing yoga pants but don't do yoga
another reason not to have a blog- so the today show can’t read your awful poetry on air after your boyfriend becomes a govt fugitive
every night i'm like oh yeah i'm gonna read this awesome book before i go to bed but instead i drunk tweet the local news in my unders
does cee-lo always look like a futuristic garbage can
bad cat bad cat whatcha gonna do when she furs on you
if you're an adult man wearing a suit and a backpack i can't possibly take you seriously
republicans think half the country are losers; democrats think half the country are morons and hicks. it evens out.
an entire generation that know carrie brownstein from portlandia instead of sleater kinney. the terrorists have won.
i wonder if these miss america contestants also ate cold chinese food with their hands for dinner tonight
just saw a squirrel scamper by with half a slice of pizza. god speed, little dude
it would be an HONOR to eat one of the derby horses in burger or meatball form
my point is, don’t brag about how your electric car doesn’t use fossil fuels if you get your power from a coal plant
the ONLY things people want from a restaurant site: HOURS, what you're serving during those hours, and a menu. most don't have that.
when people tell me tofu is gross, it boggles my mind. i know exactly what's in it; what's in that mcnugget you're scarfing?
I’m an atheist because god would give ghosts better things to do than whisper to hicks with tape recorders