Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
"I'm saving myself for marriage" - somebody nobody wants to fuck.
I'd rather watch my grandfather fuck my father in the mouth then ever sit through The Bounty Hunter again #SuckFilmFest
Every time the wind blows I'm afraid someone will hear my asshole whistle.
Only God can judge me. Also, anyone who catches me masturbating to german shit videos. They can judge me too.
Sometimes I feel like calendars are just guessing.
Nothing intelligent has ever followed: "Well, if I was the president..."
"Ugh, how can this day get any worse?" - bin laden, this morning, after stubbing his toe
Bin laden was found after an ill-advised check-in on four square.
"I would hurt, like, SO many flies!" - some guy just keepin' it real
Guys named Kyle like fish stick sandwiches.
Sometimes I say things. Sometimes they're amusing. Most of the time, they're not.