While I cannot believe this whole #iamspartacus thing, my dad texting me "Btw, iamspartacus as well" may be the coolest thing ever.

It's kinda nice waking up and not being a criminal. A man could get used to this.

With all the new followers, I'd be foolish not to whore my blog I guess, starting with a post on this whole thing http://j.mp/aKmD7d

"Aren't social networks to blame?" "Yes, I saw a social network hurl a petrol bomb right into a kitten's face." #londonriots

I suppose now would be a good time to release my new range of inflatable airports. Collect all 12!

My thoughts: http://j.mp/a8mbdq

I'd like to thank the CPS for their level-best efforts in fucking up the life of an ordinary citizen. I love Britain.

So who cares whether Britain is Christian, Muslim, Jewish or Jedi, as long as people treat each other respectfully etc.

We mourn the passing of a guy who landed on the moon while we still kill each other over whose sky fairy is best. Funny old world.

Yay!! Vindicat--- oh wait.

So... it's been an alright day so far. In the scheme of things. I suppose.

Here's the link if you want to find out what the bestsellers were for you: http://j.mp/hkFLEM (h/t @vintagebooks)

New blogpost: Treading on Eggshells - Kenneth Wrong http://bit.ly/dLx605

Support from The Daily Mail is like kissing your sister. Essentially it's the same, but it just doesn't feel right.

Alcohol with breakfast. It's either Christmas or France.

Mel B: "I deren't kner ya grandad, but I'm sure he were a wanker. Now fook off." #xfactor

Just realise I've now lost my bad boy image. Such as it was. Damn.

So, today is the one year anniversary of me posting THAT tweet. How does one celebrate that? Is it paper? Ruby? I think it's cyanide.

.@twjoketrialfund Absolutely unbelievable. A massive, massive thank you to him and everyone who donated and involved. I'm off for a cry 

I did a blog post on the spending review! I know! I don't believe it either! But here it is: http://j.mp/bJceNK