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  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    Gift @pbear79 Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 1,851
    • LIKES
    MacKoolioInBettWienerbaseballchickieblane353Ewans_DadtherealrailsSoafyaanZiaashleysather
    • 1,610
    • RETWEETS
    MacKoolioDearAuntAbbybaseballchickienashareth1amymayanfacebootropwiener_bazishawn_spree
    RidiculousSheri
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    Nothing like being awoken suddenly by a blowjob...



    I gotta start sleeping with my mouth closed.

    • 2,090
    • LIKES
    GH4NDOURcurlymalloyFakeDeanAccountMakesYouGiggleHellisWorthitiinkedZombieBestLookingGuymeatballwizard
    • 1,111
    • RETWEETS
    GH4NDOURiinkedZombieTD_FerrariSpaced_Cowboy00paulablu22Trevorplummerthetoddvsquirrel74wkgn
    awordforawordMondayPajamas4Crocs__FuzzzyNutsFrankCurtisBTheBeerGuy73sanbay__sameralkhouryavaricious1ZombieionismosigatShaunRightNowCaptainObtuseHardWorkDayJustinFurano
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans."


    All I hear is "there's a bear out their that knows how to use matches."

    • 1,708
    • LIKES
    kwkorpiDearAuntAbbyTracyBWalkercurlymalloyDr_powpowiinkedZombieBurningInHDJoeyHeath10
    • 1,354
    • RETWEETS
    DearAuntAbbyAstevensNancynuforevislilianbuzzettoprincessmoomoo7Dr_powpowiinkedZombien_mezzy
    androszrpizzajaynowXGroverXSexyInsomniac
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    I asked a waiter how they prepare their chicken. He said...


    "Meh, nothing special. We just straight out tell them they're going to die."

    • 1,541
    • LIKES
    GH4NDOURkwkorpiDearAuntAbbycathryn_wardcurlymalloyLOLegendsTribeNikkiMoiBumpinGemz
    • 1,103
    • RETWEETS
    DearAuntAbbykcjhawk81sczypskiKMuttenthaler__NikkiMoiJimRyals__BumpinGemzpaulablu22
    abrosenthalTheBeerGuy73eliserose5___wangweerased_250968215robocreep
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    NO ONE on Twitter is better than anyone else.

    We’re all just fucking idiots.

    Staring at our fucking phones.

    Wasting out fucking lives.

    • 1,306
    • LIKES
    curlymalloyamybaybe27gonzohostilitySkinnieTallsSleazySli__calluptomepaulablu22edana_irish
    • 1,015
    • RETWEETS
    lovemyMadyarthoe13_SteezysteezfeelsmamiSwirlySkittlesalapingSkinnieTallspaulablu22
    jkstills__Ilovelamp1979SmooheedThe_Dorkster______
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    Well aren't you a fucking waste of two billion years of evolution.

    • 1,117
    • LIKES
    DearAuntAbbyBumpinGemzleancassero1ecalluptomepaulablu22allisonsmithmar__galinthedressdeutschheute
    • 686
    • RETWEETS
    GH4NDOURDearAuntAbbyHalf_QuixotickathvacGlamarouaneallicharnelleBumpinGemzMandyBear04
    HarmonyRamblesiamfasePawnYourLifeVodkaDietSoda
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    If you enjoy my comedy on Twitter, you should check my other roles. Like underpaid retail worker, inadequate sexual partner and douchebag.

    • 1,142
    • LIKES
    sonofdicksonitsmetrbgufawwsherrymparkerodavrogBurningInHDSleazySli__paulablu22
    • 510
    • RETWEETS
    itsmetrbsherrymparkerCrystalCfblissodavrogBurningInHDpaulablu22heatherlou_jctsmileyone
    Alyssa_Jolie__Cpt_Burnoutnerfspur
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    Heck is where people go when they don't believe in gosh.

    • 949
    • LIKES
    GH4NDOURkwkorpiTracyBWalkerSamaad_AhmedDrAlleconpaulablu22n0tblondeKinkyAlchemy
    • 574
    • RETWEETS
    GH4NDOURkwkorpiDearAuntAbbyTracyBWalkerSamaad_Ahmedpaulablu22RandomFlumpheatherlou_
    Voiceofgarth
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    I love the way Australians pronounce vagina.




    "Vajoina"

    • 854
    • LIKES
    SleazySli__Samaad_Ahmedpaulablu22CwmDumpsterheatherlou_C9408332richerdpicturesjiffypops97
    • 355
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedpaulablu22heatherlou_DictionaryVoicebirdiepls1jiffypops97LoverOfComics94jctsmileyone
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    I should really get off Twitter and get out into the world. The problem is, i'm not really a huge fan of people, places or things.

    • 742
    • LIKES
    SleazySli__Samaad_Ahmedpaulablu22MiddleageMheatherlou_unFinishdObjectjctsmileyonejustwanttobeme3
    • 383
    • RETWEETS
    Smooheedpaulablu22heatherlou_jctsmileyoneravi_sinhaajkstills__TeeJayRushlucidchemistry
    SamuelHlowe__missamandailgrandechuck10InchesPlusmumblesmusings
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    Buy followers?


    I'd rather just buy a huge bag of weed and forget about Twitter completely.

    • 762
    • LIKES
    dougbiesDearestSelena_SweetsugarloveyitsmetrbgufawwBurningInHDSleazySli__Samaad_Ahmed
    • 348
    • RETWEETS
    itsmetrbgufawwpatty_penisBurningInHDdjdcarewpaulablu22heatherlou_trainwreckktt__
    GimpySunshine____titsNtatertotsBaddBryant________
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    If you feel like nobody cares that you're alive...


    Try missing a couple of payments.

    • 632
    • LIKES
    SleazySli__Samaad_Ahmeddjdcarewpaulablu22DirkMa5quLOVE_russelheatherlou_unFinishdObject
    • 313
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historySamaad_Ahmeddjdcarewpaulablu22LOVE_russelheatherlou_jctsmileyoneNoKraziness9
    JackieluvsUK
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    Go on FB to see what people ate for dinner.




    Go on twitter to see how the shit went.

    • 589
    • LIKES
    DearAuntAbbyDearestSelena_SweetsugarloveysonofdicksonitsmetrbgufawwBurningInHDSleazySli__
    • 253
    • RETWEETS
    DearAuntAbbytrytimeparra__itsmetrbgufawwBurningInHDpaulablu22iSunofaBeachlarrisabrians
    leo_bgw
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    I was so fucking hammered last night, I got hit by a parked car.

    • 566
    • LIKES
    kwkorpiSleazySli__heatherlou_jctsmileyonejkstills__jenixxiJimiTechmanImJESSPlayin
    • 253
    • RETWEETS
    heatherlou_jctsmileyoneHannahWinchellImJESSPlayinCage_unlockedpotatomatoessFaaltuLafdaNahicydnizoi
    VodkaDietSoda
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    I'm following people with under 200 followers who are fantastic. Don't let someone's follower's mislead you. Let their tweets be your guide.

    • 591
    • LIKES
    kwkorpideviledlegsMrAssholeToYou__heatherlou_unFinishdObjectjctsmileyone1_swarthy_dudeMomReluctant__
    • 209
    • RETWEETS
    davidsthfc__heatherlou_jctsmileyoneRawanFakhoury1Cage_unlockedpotatomatoessBadaBingecambuslad
    JackieluvsUK
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    I have so many different fucking drug habits, I had to write them all down in a book. I call it....



    Addictionary.

    • 503
    • LIKES
    SleazySli__MrAssholeToYou__BackpackerBooie__heatherlou_0MGitsJ3SSdavehoseyunFinishdObjectjctsmileyone
    • 194
    • RETWEETS
    MrAssholeToYou__heatherlou_MolotovJohnnyLerkyms_willowCage_unlockedRhinoURShaunRightNow
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    We have enough fucking youth...



    how about a fountain of smart?

    • 461
    • LIKES
    SleazySli__CwmDumpster_masala_chaiBackpackerBooie__heatherlou_unFinishdObjectjctsmileyoneSENSummit
    • 226
    • RETWEETS
    _masala_chaiheatherlou_jctsmileyonecrownandrocksImJESSPlayinanthracitedubWheresRobPress__FrizerkaSandra
    DrinkingatWork
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    My phone autocorrected killed to kilt.

    Well plaid, phone.

    Well plaid.

    • 366
    • LIKES
    emma_cristinaaJaneDoeEyed__WhosYourVaderfilmmakerRNOHannahZorgeliinkedZombiespcollins17mechanicalbirde
    • 215
    • RETWEETS
    JaneDoeEyed__ekparrPhaedraJade00filmmakerRNOnotrandomrosioiinkedZombieslave2ironyXOSchitzo
    osigat
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    A friend of mine lost his left leg and his left arm in a car crash.




    He's all right now.

    • 431
    • LIKES
    a_olivia4212SleazySli__jctsmileyone1_swarthy_dudetoxicnancyyRawanFakhoury1Cage_unlockedainnecdotes
    • 143
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyjctsmileyone1_swarthy_dudeCage_unlockedbavinnyShaunRightNowcornellmalcolmpotatomatoess
    BoomBamBunny
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    That awkward moment at Prince Williams bachelor party when he stuffs $$ in a strippers thong with a picture of his grandmothers face on it.

    • 404
    • LIKES
    SleazySli__nickyboyWTFunFinishdObjectAJslackiedeutschheutejctsmileyone1_swarthy_dudeCage_unlocked
    • 168
    • RETWEETS
    AJslackiejctsmileyonemllebeckyroseShaunRightNowkspinks4485seeisosimmypotatomatoessAmaniderella
@pbear79

@pbear79

What? Are you serious?! That's awesome! Good chat.

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