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  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    Nothing like being awoken suddenly by a blowjob...



    I gotta start sleeping with my mouth closed.

    • 1,930
    • FAVS
    Jay1972Jayconcretesledge_NOTjonfogartybonniejeannetxbongripsandtitscbassyoImJESSPlayinThee1_4U
    • 1,021
    • RETWEETS
    JamesCoolieJay1972Jayconcretesledge_Jr_SmashhMpho_TsImJESSPlayindjskill3tjumpdashark
    awordforawordMondayPajamas4CrocsFuzzzyNutsFrankCurtisBTheBeerGuy73sanbaysameralkhouryavaricious1ZombieionismosigatShaunRightNowCaptainObtuseHardWorkDayJustinFurano
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    The Beach Boys walk into a bar:

    “Round?”
    “Round?”
    “Get a round”
    “I get a round?”
    “Get a round….”

    • 1,531
    • FAVS
    millerjg72misscareyanneldoterragJay1972JayMoltoPensierosoconcretesledge_bakerygurlpaulrobalino
    • 1,366
    • RETWEETS
    misscareyannMoltoPensierosoconcretesledge_LipstikMonster7lukepapeGavinLewisNZJenn_RN23unsunful
    RidiculousSheri
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans."


    All I hear is "there's a bear out their that knows how to use matches."

    • 1,587
    • FAVS
    ContwixtbehindyourbackRevMGDAmrrwiseSotirisAngelSpeedDemonCycleOrignalceQueenjctsmileyone
    • 1,298
    • RETWEETS
    Contwixtmeghanalbert23RollinintheseatRevMGDHalfricanTonyaSpeedDemonCycleOrignalceQueenmegindapeg
    androszrpizzajaynowXGroverXSexyInsomniac
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    I asked a waiter how they prepare their chicken. He said...


    "Meh, nothing special. We just straight out tell them they're going to die."

    • 1,389
    • FAVS
    FrasierSeinContwixtfletchworld73johnnymac_19concretesledge_plod88nevels_kendylemummy_madness75
    • 1,007
    • RETWEETS
    Earl_Of_SurreyTheBafferblehhmersflowNasir_xyContwixtjohnnymac_19plod88TobyJohnWills
    abrosenthalTheBeerGuy73eliserose5_wangweAristotlesNZ__robocreep
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    NO ONE on Twitter is better than anyone else.

    We’re all just fucking idiots.

    Staring at our fucking phones.

    Wasting out fucking lives.

    • 1,202
    • FAVS
    purdon91Drinkmoreboozes0m4hKhrisWarholInconsteveableOrignalceQueenconcretesledge_SirHarshDesai
    • 965
    • RETWEETS
    Babiecakes78mimimosi6s0m4hNothing4yeeOrignalceQueenconcretesledge_SirHarshDesaifatalpunch
    Ilovelamp1979SmooheedThe_Dorkster______
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    Well aren't you a fucking waste of two billion years of evolution.

    • 1,057
    • FAVS
    concretesledge_sadiakhatriThee1_4UMichelleVitagrlBeats_By_Waifcsmith5050derzafanistoriperhapssomeday
    • 647
    • RETWEETS
    csmith5050perhapssomedayG_Koko_ChloesThinkingWildeThingyDawgPound_DJlcraffcarlyken
    iamfasePawnYourLifeVodkaDietSoda
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    If you enjoy my comedy on Twitter, you should check my other roles. Like underpaid retail worker, inadequate sexual partner and douchebag.

    • 1,084
    • FAVS
    concretesledge_omgitsjfizzyMRoutierImJESSPlayinThee1_4Ua_olivia4212MichelleVitagrlbgirl314
    • 479
    • RETWEETS
    ImJESSPlayinjumpdasharkbgirl314SamuelHLowefindmydollsLackOfShameQwertyJones3InterstellarFUK
    Alyssa_Jolie__Cpt_Burnoutnerfspur
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    Heck is where people go when they don't believe in gosh.

    • 870
    • FAVS
    concretesledge_thereminfansdostuBruceGargoyleelizahechtEricaDEthridgeResignInShamejenniekelly95
    • 524
    • RETWEETS
    jpaulhunteradicloudBbreadladykathrynaaltoSenneteerAndorraGraspingjenniekelly95dontattempt
    Voiceofgarth
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    I love the way Australians pronounce vagina.




    "Vajoina"

    • 807
    • FAVS
    concretesledge_Thee1_4UMachiavelli1532ScreamNenaa_rndhouseMaxTitus12AnnalisaMilloQwertyJones3
    • 322
    • RETWEETS
    floorballerryanesaa_yuliWayne_Bruce_QwertyJones3li4mst3w4rtTRBLmakerJBSptxcxRicanInBoston
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    I should really get off Twitter and get out into the world. The problem is, i'm not really a huge fan of people, places or things.

    • 708
    • FAVS
    concretesledge_fatalpunchLuvToCum83tat2skatermomHockeyGoddess24LowtherKelseyAlexx_stanncio7B1gBrainsMcGee
    • 361
    • RETWEETS
    JRLynch1313JoshuaFlailThee1_4ULackOfShameGenevieve0404MondayPajamasInterstellarFUKli4mst3w4rt
    SamuelHLowemissamandailgrandechuck10InchesPlusmumblesmusings
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    Buy followers?


    I'd rather just buy a huge bag of weed and forget about Twitter completely.

    • 709
    • FAVS
    concretesledge_Thee1_4UcarlykenPatWallaceli4mst3w4rtgssparks1TheSkepticusawordforaword
    • 327
    • RETWEETS
    li4mst3w4rtTheSkepticusawordforawordNawyourecrazyRomaBlackWriter__RyansGoochLeaninKingTw1tter_K1tten
    GimpySunshine____titsNtatertotsBaddBryant________
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    If you feel like nobody cares that you're alive...


    Try missing a couple of payments.

    • 573
    • FAVS
    Thee1_4UMichelleVitagrlcarlykensunybeechescrunchenhancedGenevieve0404sezgeebakerygurl
    • 281
    • RETWEETS
    PatWallaceBunnylennox96bhhgoaskaIexMoonStruckBecca10InchesPlusawordforawordboab15
    JackieluvsUK
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    Go on FB to see what people ate for dinner.




    Go on twitter to see how the shit went.

    • 544
    • FAVS
    concretesledge_Thee1_4Ucarlykenshaqattack3000TRBLmakerJBSli4mst3w4rtghostofphantomdeutschheute
    • 231
    • RETWEETS
    TRBLmakerJBSli4mst3w4rtghostofphantomdshack8a_olivia4212stageleftphotoRomaBlackWriter__RyansGooch
    leo_bgw
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    I'm following people with under 200 followers who are fantastic. Don't let someone's follower's mislead you. Let their tweets be your guide.

    • 566
    • FAVS
    concretesledge_Thee1_4URandomManikLuvPugallthingspoeticcarlykenPatWallaceTrueTorontoGirl
    • 200
    • RETWEETS
    carlykenli4mst3w4rtRomaBlackWriter__RyansGooch4Crocscbme69__Ms_WhateverVTw1tter_K1tten
    JackieluvsUK
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    I was so fucking hammered last night, I got hit by a parked car.

    • 526
    • FAVS
    purdon91Daniellekayla27concretesledge_Thee1_4UElSnuffoall_about_todayMichelleVitagrlcarlyken
    • 237
    • RETWEETS
    concretesledge_all_about_todayKhaleddAhmedfreebirdy31TRBLmakerJBSli4mst3w4rtMisterMe300a_olivia4212
    VodkaDietSoda
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    I have so many different fucking drug habits, I had to write them all down in a book. I call it....



    Addictionary.

    • 458
    • FAVS
    concretesledge_kath575all_about_todayroczacdarkshadow13LuvPugallthingspoeticcarlyken
    • 174
    • RETWEETS
    all_about_todaycarlykenTRBLmakerJBSli4mst3w4rtawordforaworddshack8Nawyourecrazy4Crocs
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    We have enough fucking youth...



    how about a fountain of smart?

    • 420
    • FAVS
    concretesledge_Thee1_4UDilemmaEmmaEmma1CleverGirl1Elizasoul80carlykenoOo_aly_oOoTlaxBoy05
    • 202
    • RETWEETS
    TinaEllery1CleverGirl1Elizasoul80oOo_aly_oOoTlaxBoy05TRBLmakerJBSFlowerChild037li4mst3w4rt
    DrinkingatWork
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    A friend of mine lost his left leg and his left arm in a car crash.




    He's all right now.

    • 410
    • FAVS
    carlykenTRBLmakerJBSli4mst3w4rtawordforawordPrefersSleep_CursedTeaOhwillieheandkelly82
    • 134
    • RETWEETS
    TRBLmakerJBSli4mst3w4rtcitramdynaawordforaworddshack8kepiesslittledandeli0nRomaBlackWriter__
    BoomBamBunny
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    That awkward moment at Prince Williams bachelor party when he stuffs $$ in a strippers thong with a picture of his grandmothers face on it.

    • 379
    • FAVS
    jamiecbreezeKhrisWarholconcretesledge_TRBLmakerJBSli4mst3w4rtdeep_chopraAmezsterawordforaword
    • 151
    • RETWEETS
    2ArcturusGLORY_karayKhrisWarholconcretesledge_TRBLmakerJBSli4mst3w4rtawordforawordZerofever
  • pbear79
      PoohBear™ @pbear79

    “Typical morning in Canada, Canadians walk out of their igloo, hop on the back of their polar bear and spear a beaver to death.”
    -Americans-

    • 355
    • FAVS
    carlykenPatWallaceTRBLmakerJBSli4mst3w4rtDawn_M_shellybsalonlittledandeli0nbreatheandlove
    • 166
    • RETWEETS
    PatWallaceTRBLmakerJBSli4mst3w4rtlittledandeli0nMr_McGee9__ericboveVictorSWintersNawyourecrazy
@pbear79

@pbear79
Pro

What? Are you serious?! That's awesome! Good chat.