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What's protocol on pubic hair, do you shampoo it?
Excuse me, ma'am. I see you're buying an industrial size vat of kitty litter and 9 bottles of white wine.
What's your Twitter handle?
*gets irrationally angry about everything*
If everything in life came easy there would be a sandwich in your hand every time.
Can't wait to win the lottery and command an army of badgers.
Am I the only one who hasn't had sex while being intimately photographed for one of these sensual black and white portraits?
*fist bumps your hi-five*
"Highway to Hell" is my favorite song about driving to work.
Love and 47 million dollars is all you'll ever need.
I don't want your hoodie. Please detach your emotions carefully and exit the craft.
my heart took a left turn at your mind
"I can flirt & go out with any girl, you know, as friends, but if you do the same I'll kill you" - guys
S/O to all the Canadians who finished our national anthem.
On behalf of all Americans, I'm sorry we don't know more than Oh, Canada.
20s: I'm going to the club.
30s: Got to take a nap because I'm going to the club.
40s: Going to Sam's Club and then home to take a nap.
Not all of us have family to lean on.
Mine support me. How about yours?
What Would Jesus Loot?
Dear people that say "a half dozen",
you know you can just say 6, right?
What? Are you serious?! That's awesome! Good chat.