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Plot Twist. Her dick is far superior than mine.
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his tweets to get followers. Well I do, so f... ine I don't use objectionable language in mine, either.
If DJ Magic Mike had Meghan Trainor in his arms, would he drop her or nah?
My favorite Rolling Stones song is that one where Keith Richards only knows three chords.
When some people bleach their asshole to match their skin color sometimes it gets mistaken as their face.
Life doesn't hand you lemons.
It places dog shit in a paper bag on your door step.
and you're fucking stupid enough to step on it.
Nothing like an orgasm to take the edge off
Pandora just asked me if I'd like to revisit Vanilla Ice radio. Wtf?
HELL YES I DO.
Hotdogs because you married a real Bread-Wiener.
Sleep Thoughts by Lesli
Snow is cold
Just like my heart
Rabbits are cute
They fuck a lot
I hate carrots
Oranges are good
You sure do get soppy when you're tanked off your tooter.
Biggest Turn On - When a woman tries on an apron in the kitchen section at Bed Bath & Beyond
IM SORRY DAD I LIVE 3 HOURS AWAY & CAN'T DIAGNOSE/REPAIR YOUR ROUTER ISSUES FROM HERE MY JOBLESS 26 YR OLD BROTHER STILL LIVES W/YOU ASK HIM
Name your daughter Brenda because you know she's going to be obese.
I crush beers like Bruce Jenner crushes Lexus's.
What? Are you serious?! That's awesome! Good chat.
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