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  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    I wish I had a kitten chauffeur! How cute would a kitten chauffeur be! That little hat! Shaking a paw at bad drivers! Oh, kitten chauffeur!

    • 122
    • FAVS
    onlyxshallow______angelamweberCourageDRManda_like_winewouldlandsolvera_mbradleyochoa5_oclock_shadow__
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    angelamweberRileyLalumendreWaschanstalt______OTB_RedRiflePatrickStep232curvygirly8msengelkingjeffpeart
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    Say what you will about Axl Rose, but that dick can whistle.

    • 89
    • FAVS
    angelamweberRowdyPrimateAgamemNOMNOMThe_HedgehogsTheRealDrToddRelicOboogiesilent_musingsMorganJ7
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    angelamweberFashionFreddyDctorFun__ExcapeplangrandprizemikeFavstar500Favskltnz__________ChrisPaceAZ
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    No matter how old I get, I never feel old enough to make grown up and informed decisions in the cereal aisle.

    • 73
    • FAVS
    angelamweberManda_like_wineMollySneedolvera_m5_oclock_shadow__curvygirly8FunniesForMeBogart_Smart
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    angelamweberAlexalaggkatiefergheymimsicleBobbyClubbsJHogan612soonerick76DocileFrog
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    Would someone for the love of God spend one more night with Phil Collins?

    • 61
    • FAVS
    edbritonmattheroldangelamweberRowdyPrimateAgamemNOMNOMToastyQuixoteMmeLaCroozBulldog0613
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    angelamweberRicDizZLeFavstar500FavsJulesJuliettacamposovaMojaveFoneBoothUR2Bdominatedmoniquemichele8
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    That awkward moment when you sneeze so hard you fart and then try to cover it with a cough but only fart more. And then you cry.

    • 57
    • FAVS
    mattheroldangelamweberCourageDRDavyJones77Manda_like_wineAnais_Lea90______danitasteinbergcincyred
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsMCroyFLRedDliciousTyJamesHensonMeaghenlynnelinnenbringerJosh_Wiattprimawesome
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    I'm really glad I tried so hard in university because these baloney sandwiches aren't going to cut the crusts off & then cry on themselves.

    • 47
    • FAVS
    FashionFreddyElKnuckelhombreMmeLaCroozhomeskooledkidBulldog0613Back2theFutrell__Faux_Maprimawesome
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    Andrew_woods90paidtobeniceBorscht_BeltchasingthenunsexplodingwalrusburnstandFarrenSquarefatdavejohnston
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    GAWD, my dad is the Hitler of exaggerating things.

    • 43
    • FAVS
    ElKnuckelhombreMmeLaCroozhomeskooledkidBulldog0613Back2theFutrell__rejecterFaux_Maprimawesome
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    snatchaweaveFuhrerbunkermishakazChug_A_LuggstotelheimLoganJameseconomicsmusicSandrosen
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    I'll never be as good as my mom at making potato salad while drunk or being disappointed by me.

    • 51
    • FAVS
    Cthunicornsilent_musingsFashionFreddyElKnuckelhombreBulldog0613Back2theFutrell__Faux_Maprimawesome
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    AndLive2LoveFavstar500FavsDctorFun__Borscht_Belttherealgnu
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    If I had a nickel for every time I wanted to punch you in the throat, I'd have a nice sock full of nickels I could also use to beat you.

    • 34
    • FAVS
    MkjkfitzgeraldThaCanadianGirlSunKist_678JennaTakosjsebrykbrandy29BadBuddhist4MissRampant______
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    snatchaweavecornermecaro______MkjkfitzgeraldJennaTakosjustcallmejme____smoothlouBerserkKWtop_tw_biz
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    Biology has foiled me when the chubby guy being a good dad & getting his kid mcnuggets is sexier than the group of firemen oiling themselves

    • 48
    • FAVS
    mattheroldFashionFreddyElKnuckelhombreBulldog0613Back2theFutrell__KimpulsesSIPgirl_Faux_Ma
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    snatchaweaveFaux_MaJeansBoots
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    I just met you. This is crazy. I'm a goldfish. I just met you.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    WhatTheH_ckoceanmist1224vivemusicpiglatin1982aXboxaddict117lesleylporterjnblmnophotforamish
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    vivemusicWilliamMason98hyperblastchicthejoshdangerclintbanneremkay_14primawesomelovecat_kate
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    Being a mom is a strange mix of always wanting to give hugs and bake cookies, and always wanting to murder and mame. It's fucking beautiful.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    FashionFreddyElKnuckelhombreBulldog0613Back2theFutrell__Faux_Maprimawesomejoesmithreally____4_Letter_Word
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    SuSuSuDonym______favstar_popTamara___J________WhoCuppedMyCake__HunterJew____
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    I long for a simpler time. When the best pudding was shaken, the worst Ninja Turtle was Michelangelo & the Situation was that I shat myself.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    FashionFreddyElKnuckelhombreBulldog0613Back2theFutrell__Faux_Ma5_oclock_shadow__letsgetgizzyNotThatKevin
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    4_Letter_WordJonJon_BrownExodus_1831patthebookcheshyjohnsonAvepates
    JonJon_Brown
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    If I'm vacuuming and I don't hear shit crackling up the hose, cleaning has been a complete fucking waste of my time.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    FashionFreddyvxlkBulldog0613Back2theFutrell__Faux_MasnarkanoidDctorFun__OliverSmiff
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    snatchaweave
    earthagent________
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    When life gives you lemons, sigh kindly, knowing life has Alzheimer's and totally forgot about the lemons it gave you yesterday.

    • 31
    • FAVS
    FashionFreddyBulldog0613Back2theFutrell__Faux_Majoesmithreally____legoinmycoffeeGageBostonTheVirginQueef____
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    savvystridermollyflores422ovarianwalkyegLizaSunleyCairdeas77________justinsbFarrenSquareCandii_Date
    primawesome
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    I dropped out of film school when I realised everything I wanted to do creatively had already been done in a Bangles video.

    • 35
    • FAVS
    FashionFreddyBulldog0613Back2theFutrell__Faux_Majoesmithreally____4_Letter_Wordyourderekjendenbrat
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    LaytesAgainDctorFun__favstar_popkellyyawkeyway____Borscht_BeltAvepates
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    As a human being, I'm more awkward than the second half of November Rain during a slow dance in junior high.

    • 36
    • FAVS
    FashionFreddyBulldog0613Back2theFutrell__Faux_Majoesmithreally____DctorFun__dannydogmouthJonJon_Brown
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    grapesoduhfavstar_popAvepatesThe_HedgehogsJeansBoots
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    As this morning's universe lays before me, my most important accomplishment will be me saying "bel biv devoe" thru a breakfast sandwich burp

    • 35
    • FAVS
    Bulldog0613Back2theFutrell__Faux_Ma4_Letter_WorddannydogmouthJonJon_BrownDickensnycIslander_DI______
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_poptheleanoverMassageByTedimaamishfanco____
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    Am I the only one who hoots & hollers like a drunk dude at a strip club everytime I watch Yoda bust out his lightsaber in Episode II?

    • 31
    • FAVS
    FashionFreddyBulldog0613Back2theFutrell__Faux_Majoesmithreally____dannydogmouthJonJon_BrownDickensnyc
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    zaynah237KittyLashblast____favstar_popsnarkanoidhomeskooledkidMissing_A
  • pclothespress
      mini mama @pclothespress

    I had this crazy dream where politicians made a working class salary and suddenly became the biggest advocates for the working class. Weird.

    • 20
    • FAVS
    jnstewartllvvzz1AndOnlyXWadeSvivemusicberlintine_ObligatoryFuckendlessjoe
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    1AndOnlyXChad4Regina__colletteparksvivemusicpatthebookberlintine_danleadavponyocita
@pclothespress

@pclothespress

a rock with sad googly eyes and some brown yarn glued to it