@peachcherub's (Meli-Mel) most faved Tweets...
"Is that an iPod in your pocket or...." "No, I have a square penis."
Asking someone to star your tweet is the online equivalent of a guy saying, "C'mon, just give it a little kiss."
What I'm wearing is sarong, but it feels so right.

(I'm sorry, I couldn't resist)
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"My brother's in prison." "Which one?" "Which brother or which prison?"
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datnguyensokeribliccyMODATnicedreamahugeproductionwoodkellydealnoah_sthepeoplegeekfactualfictioncrispycrackaPaulineTVpinkeezyjudysuperduperjes
Uncle says to me, "You've been putting a little weight on!" That is the obese kettle calling the slightly chubby pot black.
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NotHotstarsgoingbleudavisloveninjacentricgiromidemathcat345grossefemmekimalahninjapixie83Hello_Nursejonathaneunicebaileygenineyhfjudysuperduperjes
I don't think anyone these days would have a hard time believing Billie Jean was not his lover.
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"Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but presence makes the dick grow harder."
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DnastyyjabongugedavislovecoyotesqrlroughdictionMrsKeyxsweenTrick_or_tweethurtlingninjapixie83addictedtotextlurkeythepeoplegeek
When you read "The Wienermobile goes South of the Border" in your timeline, you just know nothing else today will be able to top it.
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dethbunnydavislovelukeinvanfelicitousJoshTheBlacksunshynegrllohmysevencalifmomjaredwsmithfatheaddesignimamelaniethepeoplegeek
The crowd really wants the banjo player to take his shirt off. Well...there's an unexpected sentence.
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_srslaineysunshynegrllblondediva11GotBacchuskellydealian_Wrightbobthecownyccabgirlsmashedpotatoesyhffactualfiction
IT PUTS THE LAUNDRY IN THE BASKET.
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jrhyleybiorhythmistuncalledforBeccaPianomyracleslonelysandwichsweenreagankaddictedtotextyhfMoodyPlaylist
I was saving that $25 bottle of pinot gris for a special occasion. But then I remembered what my life is like and cracked that sucker open.
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"She enjoys the plantains" is now my favorite euphemism.
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davisloveImAVeronicablondediva11sunshynegrllcalifmomparhamrjorshuwahjonathaneunicebailystewartjudy
Sure, she's a crazy homeless tranny hooker...but I gotta admit her shoes are KILLER!
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NotHotdavisloveClintonDownsGSouderblondediva11sweenninjapixie83BalutRoxetteMabellonjudy
Boy, that bush really needs trimming...I just got a faceful! But then, I guess that's what I get for riding my bike on the sidewalk.
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sokeriajmortisdavisloveupsgurlninjacentricblondediva11lvenglarczyhfRoxetteMabellonMoodyPlaylist
So...I went on a date tonight. How did it go? Well, I'm already home and talking to you, so...you do the math.
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cpinckdavisloveblondediva11lionelsterahugeproductionRoxanaGonzalezyhfjonathaneunicebaileygeninefactualfiction
But seriously...Beaver, PA? Sounds like it might as well be called Queef Amplifier.
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sokeririnaedinupsgurldavisloveAMassofHumanityliesforliarssunshynegrllthepeoplegeekDieLaughingjudy
...And there went the last of my shame. It started with "bukkake", it ended with "cock"....usually the other way around....
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"My shoes are too distinctive," she thought. after breaking wind loudly in the bathroom stall.
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davislovethe_dzaMODATurkillingmecovertheearthparhamrFriedaClubditchneryhf
"Ready for docking maneuvers" is my new favorite euphemism.
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blondediva11ian_Wrightahugeproductionmathcat345ShawnaFcalifmomninjapixie83burwelljonathaneunice
Some stoned chick laying on the ground just poked me in the ass. This is probably the most action I'll get this weekend.
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