Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I will forever be McNally to everyone else’s Rand.
The Spurs are the Space Cowboys of the NBA. --Gabe Snyder
I never feel confident performing the Heimlich because what if the guy was just doing the Humpty Dance and I ruined it?
currently in a relationship with my right hand and I've never been happier
“I never would have thought of that” and “I thought the same thing” are the biggest compliments I can give.
We all would rather talk to each other on here than to real people. Carry on.
Beauty pageants: still a thing!
Girl, is your father a thief? Cuz he keeps breaking into my house
My dad flew F4s in 'Nam. And didn't cry himself to death when he saw me "age" the edges of my D&D character sheet with his Marine Zippo.
RIP Kim's vagina
"Gluten Tag!" - Pumpernickel bread saying hello
Hashtagging in a text is one way to let people know you're terrible
Quick question. I'm planning my congrats on having 20k Twitter followers party. Who should I wear?
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Yes. I stole that tweet from Shakeskspear. Don't judge me. It's 5am here and I'm drunk.
Fitness Tip: Buy a home chin-up bar for an extra place to hang clothes.
In the $5 clearance bin of internet comedy.