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Everyone thinks I'm really funny when I'm really just being a bitch.
I interrupted you because I don't care. That's really the only reason.
I already need a nap.
I just cannot deal with your same old bullshit today.
So THIS is what its like to be sober on a weeknight.
My boyfriend is getting fat. My work is done.
Best aphrodisiac ..bacon frying or warm chocolate chip cookies?
I wonder if Mrs. Clause ever wore fishnet stockings?
Which gear do I put my ass in?
I really need to be far far away from other human beings right now.
You don't know what to do with me.
Maybe I really am high maintenance.
I need a week at the coast.
Twitter its good to be back. I've missed you.
I'm not your therapist.
Decorum is going out the window.
I am pretty sure i am going straight to hell for the thoughts i am thinking.
You know I can get cocaine from my hairdresser.
It sucks being the smartest person in the room.
I take back my offer to make you a tunafish samwich.