how do you delete someone else's twitter account

hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you

please excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable *jumps into ocean and dies*

hey guys did u know we can trade pieces of green paper for WHOLE pizzas lol pizza companies are idiots

what instagram filter do i use to make people like me

*krumps onto stage at teen choice awards* i wanna thank all the teens out there *crowd applauds* FOR BEING IDIOTS *throws award down*

the dark knight rises "whoa batman wear are you going" he keeps rising "batman watch out ur going to high" the dark knight enters space

I think my twitter app has a bug. it does this weird thing where nobody favs my tweets and nobody follows me and I cry myself to sleep

*bunch of scientists in a room, trying to find the last chemical to cure a disease* scientist: maybe it's maybelline *they all take notes*

yo chiggity-check it, i riggity-wreck the miggity-mic when im spiggity-speakin. someone higgity-help me i cant stiggity-stop talking like th

*kid walks into class playing gangster rap from a boom box* its the doctors orders *tosses over doctors note "signed by Doctor Dre"*

you go up to a girl in a bar, you slip her a piece of paper. "go to dm" it says. she doesnt know what it means shes not on twitter.

ugh i cant wait to go home and smoke some weeb. some good old narijama. ya, that nice nice janga. gimme a nicely rolled blump. a sick jont

if you love christmas so much, why dont you MERRY it?!

"my bed time is eff you o'clock!" my last words before my mom slapped my face off

siri do u hav a but *giggles uncontrollably*

put Harry Potter spells into our marriage vows so I know it's real

IF YOU LIKE IT YOU SHOULD PUT AN ONION RING ON IT! IF YOU LIKE IT YOU SHOULD PUT AN ONION RING ON IT!

walk up in the club like whuddup I got severe social anxiety this is part of my immersion therapy please don't judge me

"a niqqa hungry AF doe" - Ghandi