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My girlfriend threw me out just because she caught me measuring my cock. For the record, it just reaches the back of her sister's throat.
Definition of a thong- Years ago you had to open a womans knickers to see her arse. Nowadays you have to open her arse to see her knickers.
I haven't received a greetings card from one single Ethiopian! Do They Know It's Christmas time?
I love the amount of sex I get at work. It's the reason I decided to become an undertaker in the first place.
my mate drowned last week.I got some abuse for my floral tribute of a lifejacket, but as I told everyone, it's what he would have wanted!
my mrs told me she wants a rape alarm
tomorrow im gonna cover her mouth, holds her down, fuck her up the arse & whisper "time to get up''
Just catching up on the greatest show on the history channel Duck Dynasty #whattheduck
It wasn't until the flames engulfed his body......that Pinnochio realised little boys made of wood probably shouldn't masturbate!!!!
WARNING. Don't join the Tesco dating agency. My mate did and he ended up with a bag for life.
Weird scientific fact: The heavier the woman, the easier they are to pick up....
just found favstar please SO.... like or retweet so i don't look too much of a sad, pathetic, friendless TWAT!!
any guy with a dick can make a baby... it takes a real man to make a giraffe with a condom
I just heard that everyone has to leave out steak for Santa this year as he's on his red day at santa's slimming world!!
I’m starting to enjoy twitter more each day, however favstar seems to be ran by stereotypical, narrow-minded, self indulgent, elitist CUNTS!
if you notice this tweet Hello, thank you for your recognition.
if you dont notice its simply because you suck donkey dick after yo mama!!!
Every day I'm shuffling!! What can I say... I'm older, not any wiser, still as cheeky & extremely happy.......what more can a man ask for?
