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For the love of God, please go read the magnificent work @uncledynamite is doing today. #FF
If only the USC football program had raped those kids instead of giving them money and houses, they would have been going to a bowl game.
Herman Cain's withdrawal from the race came 30 minutes later than expected so we don't have to pay for it. #fb
The Second City's new Saturday MIDNIGHT stand-up open mic starts tonight! Hosted by the ever-affable @thebryanchamp. http://t.co/r64d53CE
The sale of horse meat for consumption is now legal again in America and it’s a game changer for little girls who want a birthday pony.
Starting to think Herman Cain only ran for President so people would find out how much he gets laid.
I gave a buck to the guy on the corner playing Coltrane on the trumpet, but then he played Jingle Bells, so I went back and took $10.
Herman Cain announces a Black Friday discount on his economic plan! Now only 7-7-7!!
@peterbyrnes I was the one who told them to change the name of the store to "Byrnes When I Pee."
L&O: SVU, Ep. 471—The team follows a trail of semen all the way to Yankee Stadium. Cragen starts a sandwich blog. Jaleel White guest stars.
It just occurred to me that we are probably approx 10-15 days away from the announcement of an Occupy Wall Street porn film.
Only 20% of under-30s voted in 2010. That's why instead of a jobs bill, you kept 'In God We Trust' on the money you don't have.
Why are these Occupy Wall Street hippies constantly interrupting perfectly peaceful gatherings of angry police officers?
I hope a century from now there's a Ken Burns-style filmmaker who has actors read text messages set to violin music.
Because it is bitter, And because it is my heart.
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