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If only the USC football program had raped those kids instead of giving them money and houses, they would have been going to a bowl game.
Herman Cain's withdrawal from the race came 30 minutes later than expected so we don't have to pay for it. #fb
The sale of horse meat for consumption is now legal again in America and it’s a game changer for little girls who want a birthday pony.
Rest in peace Patrice O'Neal. Godspeed, brother.
Starting to think Herman Cain only ran for President so people would find out how much he gets laid.
I gave a buck to the guy on the corner playing Coltrane on the trumpet, but then he played Jingle Bells, so I went back and took $10.
Herman Cain announces a Black Friday discount on his economic plan! Now only 7-7-7!!
L&O: SVU, Ep. 471—The team follows a trail of semen all the way to Yankee Stadium. Cragen starts a sandwich blog. Jaleel White guest stars.
It just occurred to me that we are probably approx 10-15 days away from the announcement of an Occupy Wall Street porn film.
Only 20% of under-30s voted in 2010. That's why instead of a jobs bill, you kept 'In God We Trust' on the money you don't have.
Why are these Occupy Wall Street hippies constantly interrupting perfectly peaceful gatherings of angry police officers?
I hope a century from now there's a Ken Burns-style filmmaker who has actors read text messages set to violin music.
“How was your day?” is the Hitler of questions.
Because it is bitter, And because it is my heart.