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You don't DM me like you used to
Red panda's caught, so I can stop standing on my desk and squealing and pulling my dress up.
I really dislike that little Google Android guy
Alley Yoga, we meet in the alleyway and do yoga. How hard is it to understand? Yes of course I'm certified.
Just moved the Phone app out of the dock on my iPhone. Is this what transhumanism feels like?
Mom: "I saw your twitter account the other day."
Me: *i hope she mentions my follower #*
Mom: "Your tweets are pretty stupid."
Klout now links to your online banking account! Easily transfer currency points from your savings profile to bump up your Klout score!
If you guys don’t start behaving I am going to turn this year around and take us right back to 2014. I’ll do it.
After years of stopping being polite and starting being real, we decided to just go back to being polite.
Ice bucket challenge but with a bucket of snakes.
Take a deep breath, Phillip. Just b/c it doesn't have microwave directions doesn't mean it's not microwaveable. Stop your crying. Stop it
Clamactive has the same anti-acne properties as normal Proactive, but we've added the refreshing zest of all-natural clam juice
Local weatherman's calling for wind today. Just wind. "So much wind," he says with an urgency in his eye I don't recognize.
*gets down on one knee* ..and then I realized, I couldn't imagine my personal brand *opens ring box* having not engaged this millennial
At work I help people make cool things happen on the Internet. At life I mostly listen to Morrissey songs. Director of Strategy at @NJIMedia
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