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1. Make eye contact. Hold eye contact.
2. Look away, feigning intense boredom.
I flirt like a pro.
Is that a Chapstick in your pocket or are you just not that into me?
I still don't believe straight men are evolved enough to enjoy things they can't fuck or eat.
Instead of downloading WebMD for the iPad, I taped a piece of paper to the screen and scrawled "IT'S CANCER" on it.
I am big. It's the character limits that got small.