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First uninterrupted night's sleep ever. I feel like a different person. Don't know who.
Been dieting for an hour now. Starving.
As global markets teeter on the brink of disaster yet again, I'm glad I had the foresight not to have any money to my name to worry about.
Are there farting championships held anywhere in the world? I want to enter my dog.
Tea is the staff of life.
The feeling I just had when accidentally touching a wet teabag in pitch dark, is what horror movies are made of.
Someone on my poker table is called "ihavebigboob". Some sort of freak you think?
I'm breaking in a new purse. Stressful. I don't like change.
Wholesome, well-balanced people living life to the full really get on my tits. Especially first thing in the morning.
Never trust a man who, when left alone with a tea cosy, doesn't try it on.