siri, bring me the horizon

*skater teen looks up from his mtn dew* yo busses look like dicks

hey wow ive been thinkin bout u too frank ovean

I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING BURGER KING OF THE HILL *runs to log onto tumblr* *knocks over cvs photo kiosk*

sext: take me out behind the shed and shoot me with a shotgun ;-)))

*guitar hero style boo's as you attempt to put your soft dick in a lady*

Let's turn that 666 into a 69.

People usually think I'm cool, until they look down and see that I'm wearing Hulk Hands.

Rango Unchanged (2013) - Rango is BACK, and the only thing that's fully loaded... is his diaper. Starring Johnny Depp, rated PG.

White people say, "I don't know how I feel about that."

top one funniest names for a michigan city: GAYLORD

take it from me, you dont want kids *looks at baby* fuk u

#describeyoursexlifewithamovietitle 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain starring Hulk Hogan.

IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU FEEL.

HEY, IF A GIRL DOESN'T LIKE YOU, AND SHE DROPS SEVERAL HINTS, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE JUST REALIZE IT. ALSO, THE FRIENDZONE ISN'T REAL.

"i cant do anything unless im high huhuhuhu" -EVERYBODY I HATE

Will Smith punches aliens in at least 4 movies.

"only god can judge me" i whisper confidently to my self as i put chicken nuggets in a red cup

I just confused Purity Ring and Promise Ring. Hahaha, us hipsters, right guys? *human mask falls off revealing raccoon face*

Bro cmon. Just run your feet through my hair.