Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 452
Followers: 2,738
Favs Given: 29,814
Favs Rec'd: 48,275
@plaid_lemur's (Nikolai) recent favourites. See who @plaid_lemur favs the most...
blondediva11
Yeah Conan, I got a monkey on my back too, but it's because he likes anal.
@blondediva11
ange_black
Pelican or pelicannot... there is no pelimaybe. I wrote this all by myself.
@ange_black
shariv67
Why do your dimples make you adorable and my perforated colon gets me bupkis?
@shariv67
7
plaid_lemurp0rkch0ppfactualfictionGwogBettyLiesCroweJamPunkrockie
apelad
Someone needs to debunk the efficacy of pop-up ads for Snopes.com.
@apelad
12
plaid_lemurDoctorPebkacjose602sgnprongillmorenevenmrgankvanhdresspants_rphelpsscarequotesRandazzoj
paul_e_wog
A smart bet is one where you win a lot of money, but then some gangsters get involved and oh boy are you in for it now.
Stupid bet, man.
@paul_e_wog
11
plaid_lemurSuck_A_DuckrongillmorelinajkpenblethworldwarmikeNikiWithIssuesharratondavegorumimaudihereA_Sav
shariv67
McDonald's isn't even trying anymore. Today's Happy Meal prize was a 1/2 tube o' Krazy Glue + a pair of dentures from the lost-n-found.
@shariv67
10
plaid_lemurlinajkJezebelTheGreatlesbeebeImAwake2critterzooPenitent1juicymorselGwogpeterfitzwel
arjunbasu
The ad guys sit around coming up with slogans for a new brand of soup. Is this stuff any good? Lee asks. And there is laughter. And tears.
@arjunbasu
9
plaid_lemurrongillmorelinajkpenblethbrokenlifejqgillBrain_Washed_xnatebishop
davegorum
It's not a flight to New York without a gentleman covered in henna tattoos and carrying his shame in an empty, pink Jansport backpack.
@davegorum
BlondHousewife
Friend: You never returned my call Me: I couldn't find the receipt. Awkward silence afterwards.
@BlondHousewife
MrBigFists
Turns out my chocolate rabbit's foot isn't so lucky. It just melted all over my pants. Oh. My mistake. That's just dog crap... Still lucky.
@MrBigFists
killorn
There are no words to describe how awful The Blind Side is. I feel like a Hallmark greeting card just blew a load all over my face.
@killorn
2
grimmerplaid_lemur
redtothetone
me: your first threesome is always a little awkward, but are you excited?
big mac: ...
me: what about you? are you excited?
coke: ...
@redtothetone
chiclet_
If a tree falls in the forest, does this chainsaw make me look like I might have heard something?
@chiclet_
girlvanized
Dealing with car salesmen is like getting a tongue bath from a tiger.
@girlvanized
kolchak
True love means just accepting me for who I am and helping me bury the body.
@kolchak
chiclet_
She who controls the automatic window locks and is gassy wields all the power.
@chiclet_
ange_black
A fish doesn't need a bicycle but he sure does feel alive when he's riding one.
@ange_black
capricecrane
Jesse James's hussy clarified her "W" "P" tattoos stand for Wet Pussy, not White Power. Weird. I just put my vagina updates on a t-shirt.
@capricecrane
BrilliantOrange
Hamsters are really stupid, but, I'm the guy spending money to keep one housed and fed, so, there you go.
@BrilliantOrange
108
plaid_lemuravi1111timhainesknitterpleasewriteslikehellpiercedbratdoublejackcalifmompenblethkaonicksjebanthonytalks_in_mathsthefemmenoirfuddlemarkA_N_G_E_L_I_N_E93VIEW
ALL
DrBadhands
3:33 should be called ballsacks o'clock.
@DrBadhands
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