@plaid_lemur's (Nikolai) recently faved Tweets...
If these walls could talk, I bet it would sound like someone was trapped in the wall and we'd all freak out pretty bad.
My favorite part of farting in the tub is the look on their face later on when they ask if that's jelly in the margarine.
I bet that if Kevin Smith had written Star Wars, there would've been a lot more Star Wars references in it.
I think some girls spit instead of swallow because they finally look up and see that I'm making out with their parakeet.
I'm kind of surprised Pete Townshend hasn't told the crowd to come backstage for some free candy yet.
@mlb_matos As long as it malfunctions into the high pitched voice and is complimentary, I'll be alllll set!
1
I wish dogs had facial expressions because when he's obviously checking out my junk, I'd kind of like to know his opinion.
If I were a girl, and a guy had a soft spot for me, I'd probably be really disappointed and slip him some Viagra.
I think the best thing about Ambien is that you don't remember why the dog is especially friendly to you in the morning.
Does @plaid_lemur now have a fan page on Facebook? Stay tuned after the jump to find out! http://bit.ly/plaidlemur 2002, here I come!
3
Of all the interesting college application essays stating reasons for wanting to attend, I bet some of the hottest are sent to Ball State.
15
My dog is overly affectionate--he licks me and follows me around, which really comes in handy when I run out of toilet paper.
The best lesson in spending $1000 on dog toys is that they're perfectly content with an empty 2 liter bottle and a hand job.
I just found out for the half the cost of a year's worth of getting fit at a gym I can get a full body tattoo of muscles.
Hey, ninnyhammers. Yeah, you guys who for some reason like to laugh at sick jokes. I'm on Bookface http://www.facebook.com/plaid.lemur
1
When I have a kid, I'm going to name him Douche because kids like to be the opposite of what their parents push them to be.
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