One more class. ONE MORE CLASS. ONE. MORE. CLASS.

thirsty tricks tossing a damn frisbee around the study room like do you want to get cut tonight orrrrr...? #finalsweek #tensionsarehigh

I like being in a busy airport bc its like being on a highway but w/ NO CARS, NO MEDIANS and NO RULES *slams fullforce into unknowing lady*

According to my daughter, this Sunday we will be celebrating You Fucking Suck at Being a Mother.

that awkward moment when it is colder outside during the may finals week than it was during the december finals week

Underneath the floorboards at the Met, there's another Met Ball happening with mice.

Headed out to the Yule Ball with Crabbe and Goyle. Mad wizard blunts to pregame. Draco called deuces, sorry Potter. #Slytherin

#ChristianMingleUserNames Burning Bush

#420pizzaslave666

#ChristianMingleUsernames Jehovah Thickness.

What are people who own more than one pair of pants trying to prove???

Things I need on a restaurant's website:
-menu
-hours
-address
Things I don't need:
-Flash
-photos of the owner's kids
-anything else

Changing my band's name to "Um I don't know" made us the most popular band ever. Seriously, go ask anyone who their favorite band is.

If you love someone set them free. If they come back they're yours or maybe you're in love with a boomerang.

The @cubs twitter only tweets when good things happen. So, like, never.

I just woke up from a 17 hour nap. Now I know how sleeping beauty felt. I wonder if she dreamt she was fat again the whole time too.

I tug and tug and tug on this skin tag but my head won't open and expose the lil alien inside. I'm sure this is the hidden switch wtf

omg where r u @mslaraclare your father is slamming shit around in the kitchen and I am so hungry? bring me a burrito asap. COME HOME 2 ME

Honestly, I would rather stick a stiletto into my eye socket than walk around wearing those things on my poor little feet all day.

I work hard and I play hard. I have a viagra addiction.