@poeks' (Poeks) most faved Tweets...
After 30 years I still can't figure out how to pronounce "I'm a lesbian" so it doesn't sound like "keep bothering me."
It's as though people on the west coast have never seen someone smoking and jogging before. Fucking hippies.
I wish people would stop provoking me into fits of rage by looking at me or talking or standing there or existing only in my mind.
Get a new job, stop drinking, lose some weight, leave the house, find a therapist, dump the motherfucker. There, your problems: solved.
If Oprah were God, she'd be all like, "Look under your seeeeats... *you're* smited, *you're* smited, *you're* smited."
I've been practicing my British day and night, but all I know how to say is "Oy loik crisps." I think it means "where is the bathroom."
Twitter has become such a meat market that they are considering changing its tagline to "What are you doing later?"
What is everyone upset about? Joe Wilson's uninsured Tourette's brilliantly underscored Obama's healthcare points.
Best part about living on the west coast is I can tweet right when I wake up and unemployed people in all time zones will get to read it.
Nerds. Having a nerd-off. Your mouths say, "My opinions on SQL compatibility layers are superior" but your eyes say, "Girls I've kissed < 1"
Sometimes the line between a thoughtful and an inappropriate gift is as thin as these hairs I've collected from your sink.
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