Apparently, when it comes to drug-sniffing dogs, "he who smelt it dealt it" is not an admissable defense.

PSY's new song sounds a lot more like a "Pumps and a Bump" than a "2 Legit (2 Quit)"

I really need to work on my string cheese string game.

We can all agree that Emma Stone's appeal is that she seems hot/cool but attainable, right?

@uberfacts stop eating only soft foods and drinking from bottles? No deal!

I'm running out of blizz puns. Anyone?

@dcpierson "He would have wanted you to know that his first, less attended visitation was better." #hipstereulogies

Trying to get jokes together for tomorrow, but fried from a 13 hour work day. How many jokes about being oncall at my it job is too many? 8?

Just saw at iga that the octomom lost 145 lbs... I wonder whether that's related to her giving birth to 8 kids at once

Uncle Fuck #oneletteroffmovies