The funniest thing about tomorrow, is that Asians will pronounce it: “Erection Day”.

Ready for a KILLER interview by Ray Lewis!!!

I bet Romney’s hair inspired “50 Shades of Grey”

*Weezy has seizure*

Weezy’s Friend 1: “SOMEBODY CALL A DOCTOR!”

Weezy’s Friend 2: *calls Dr. Dre*

It’s been 13 years and we still don’t know who in the hell let the dogs out.

And then on this day The Lord Jesus Christ pressed “X” and respawned.

And then God was like “I’ll make a skunk’s defensive ass spray smell like quality marijuana to eff with hippies”.

My last fart sounded like a dry seal going down a McDonald’s playground slide.

Muck Fondays

I only check Facebook once every 70-75 poops so please don’t take it personally if I forget to wish you a Happy Birthday.

And dicks* RT @bleacherreport: Wow. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Brittney Griner have the same size hands. pic.twitter.com/GQMLIkWsFl

I find it hilarious ESPN gave Mexicans their own channel and named it ESPN DEPORTes.

The judge asked rapper Gucci Mane if he was pregnant, to which he replied: “Bitch I might be”. Swag.  http://yfrog.com/h8eb9gyj 

Nothing says “I’m kinda poor and probably don’t have any cool shit” better than a BEWARE OF DOG sign.

I’ve taken 117.5 shits since the Heat last lost a game. Can’t believe the streak is over. 😞

Love when Miami wears the “El Heat” jersey so the Mexicans have a clue what team they’re watching.

Tear-ible news for Kobe/Lakers.

Good God the Heat suck.

I bet when Snoop was a youngin’ his mother called him “Snoop Puppy Pup”.

. @antdavis23 for Halloween you should go as someone who doesn’t have a unibrow