HOLY SHIT ADAM GODDAMN ANT http://t.co/HrB9usmk

Holiday dieting tip for ladies: a single slice of fat-free turkey substitute and half of a plain boiled potato is all you deserve, whore.

RT @dielaughing: Cant wait to start blaming the GOP for everything wrong in America not being magically fixed upon their election to office.

I am eating shrimp fried rice for dinner. It doesn't photograph well, so I'm just telling you instead.

Johnny Ramone and Joey Ramone on the set of The Uncle Floyd Show, a cable access variety show that ran on the… http://t.co/y8AMFiVP

McDonald's Chicken McBites, for people who can't handle the unfathomable hugeness of a Chicken McNugget.

If you go to see "Movie 43," you should probably be sterilized.

@cigsandredvines "Les Masterbles" (2012) A charismatic Master helps a young drifter discover his past life as Jean Valjean. #MasterMashup

Next will be a call for Lucy to stop g
charging for advice, because it encourages practicing unlicensed psychiatry.

If you are over 30 and claim to have "haters," it's time for an assessment of your life.

Has anyone ever figured out what "ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang" translates to in witch doctorese?

My concert souvenir. LOL I don't even play guitar. http://t.co/xLm4PE3l

OMGGG ADAM ANT CONCERT (@ The Trocadero Theatre w/ 8 others) http://t.co/4FkE6jeY

I'm a 14 year survivor of a suicide attempt. Please don't be afraid to ask for help. Someone will be there. #world suicidepreventionday

Shit. That was intense.

This is a good time to remind everyone again that all holidays are made up, so stop using that as a reason to piss in someone's cornflakes.

Just to keep him humble, someone should bring up his role in "Congo" to Grant Heslov.

RZell probably should have waited to start drinking *after* she had to go up on stage.

Duran Duran or get the fuck out. #oscars

They couldn't let Thor go up there because that would have created Def Con 4 hotness. #oscars