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I love twist off wine bottles... it's like they get me.
Sometimes your passions change. Don't feel like you're breaking a promise. Shit happens.
"I wanted to be gay just so I could convince chicks to let me grab their boobs."--- my friend Craig
Sometimes after singing Edelweiss in our apt I can hear the neighbors sharpening their spears for queer hunting season.
Are Snoopy & Woodstock in a dom-sub relationship?
Forget 'Kissing' Booth. How bout 'A Few Sexually Alarming Minutes' Booth.
I'm sensing a lot of sexual tension between myself and this bag of flaming hot cheetos.
Fuck the rain. Fuck this journal assignment. Fuck it all, with my 10-foot dick... almost time for a Zoloft.
Best part about not acting? No headshot. I can go back to ignoring my face.
So, for the election, I've decided to move to France. The End. Bye-bye!
Twitter isn't for sappy shit. Cocks and bitchiness... that's all it's for. Get with the program.
Theater is ultimately about sex and death. That's why I'm writing a play about a zombie orgy.
It must be nice to be in high school and centered on yourself all the time.
Just looking for that one special guy... with a heart as big as Texas and a dick as big as Florida.