"Tell you what, make me run really fast in this lane/corridor" - Tom Cruise's suggestion for every movie.

Wait, there is more than one song in the techno genre?

WHO KEEPS funding these Muppet movies? WHO are you people? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US

"Let's somehow be like a combination of Abercrombie & Fitch, paper cuts and speaker phone meetings but only more annoying" - People

Bringing the word whatevs' in an argument is like bringing yellow to a color contest.

For my card trick, I ask you to pick a card, conceal it, keep it safe with you and then call Hallmark security.

Some decisions should be as easy as an Asian deciding whether or not to throw up a victory sign in a picture.

I'd upload my Metallica ticket photo on Facebook but I didn't have time to name the album 'Envelope push: Human douchebaggery'

Nick Lachey, nobody knows who you are, okay?

"OHGODDFINE" - How yellow got to be a colour.

In hell, you're made to stand next to a kid who is unhurriedly trying out the ringtones of his new phone, happily uncommitted to a decision

By the looks of it, Jason Statham has starred in just one movie, over and over again.

Hey movies, enough with the bobbing- heads-on-car-dashboard shots?

Do you want a cold beer? Do you want me to answer that non sarcastically? No, a warm, flat, tasteless kind will do, thanks.

Here's my kolaveri tweet. I've mentally fish-slapped everybody referring to that song from day 1. Including myself right now.

I often imagine a clash between people who ask 'guess what' questions and people who are overly observant. There are tears.

People who recurrently wear yellow, I'm hopelessly clueless why your brain-eye coordination gives you a thumbs up on that.

Heard a 14 year old explain his take on political parties and small parties who will nevOMG he's going to get beat up so bad in high school

If you didn't scream "OMG, I HAVEE THAT!" while watching Contagion, in a crowded movie theatre, I don't even know why you're alive.

You will never see a more colossal pool of self-deliberation and face-alteration than 3 seconds before two girls take a photo of themselves